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December 01, 2010

Cognitive clues from eyeball movements

During face-to-face conversation, you’ll find other person glancing (i.e. rolling eye balls) in certain directions while answering to queries. Even you may find yourself doing the same unconsciously, only if keen attention is paid at glancing.

If you or the other person is right handed then following would the interpretation of each directional glance if asked query was “What’s your favorite food?” for example. Each mode of information processing has been verbally represented.


A) Visual Memory Recall: “What was that looking like? Was that colored red o green? Was that looking like noodles? Was that decorated? Where I ate it first time?”

B) Auditory Memory Recall: “What was name of it? Who cooked it for me? With whom I ate it?”

C) Self Dialogue: “What I really like? Why can’t I remember my favorite food item? Is the query going too personal?”

D) Visual Construction: “How would he/she respond if I tell her my favorite food item as Burger? What will make him/her happy as an answer?”

E) Auditory Construction: “What would he/she say if I don’t answer query right now? How would it sound if I say ‘I like donuts…but not so much’?”

F) Kinesthetic: Glancing in this direction means person’s checking his/her feelings, emotions and sensations while being queried. You may find person glancing in same direction after asking him/her like “What if we walk to nearby restaurant and enjoy coffee?” or "Are you interested in continental cuisine?"

Please let me be clear that these are general interpretations. Eye movements might differ ethnicity, culture and society wise across the globe. Only close observation and proper querying can help in disclosing true clues they give away.

For the left handed person, direction of glance might be reverse for same information processing.

Related Articles:
1) Importance of eyes in relationship

November 28, 2010

Why we copy each other's body language?

We walk in restaurant or cafe and spot a couple sitting in corner, intimately gazing towards each other and resonating facial expressions. In a bar, two friends stand next to of each other adapting same postures. In a local park, briskly walking senior citizens match their pace with each other along.

Inside an office, two close colleagues defend each other with quite identical gesticulations in front of their superior. Unconsciously, one person adapts posture, gesticulates or expresses emotion on its face and other follows or matches up with it mechanically without thinking about it.

Copying or matching with through body language of others is called as Mirroring or Movement Synchronization. Prof. Dr. David B. Givens (Director of Center of Nonverbal Studies in Spokane, United States of America coined a scientific term called as ISOPREXIMCS for this unique behavior.

It’s quite interesting to know the secret behind it that is deeply rooted inside our brain. Mirror Neurons in premotor cortex, the supplementary motor area, primary somatosensory cortex, and the inferior parietal cortex allows us to observe, empathize, and imitate other person. Even mirror neurons induce same emotions and feelings in our mind sighting other person or group if we have certain degree of attachment with.

Unconsciously, we like the persons who moves, behaves or expresses alike ourselves. We feel safe and nurtured when other person complements us, shares our distress and delights and makes us feel better about ourselves. After all, it’s about forming relationship and staying in it. Mirroring is evident to uniform feeling, understanding, thinking, planning and persuasion.

Mirroring runs deep in society, from an early age. You may find children are quite quick and smart in mirroring their parents for venting their anger and win favor or attention. Dancing, singing, playing instruments, walking together in a large group and exercising in synchrony creates mesmerizing and dramatic effects.

Especially during courtship, most women are found or can be observed mirroring and copying body language of the men they want to form or have formed a relationship with. They unconsciously convey that they are in agreement and accord with the men of their interest.

Not only humans but animals and birds also do mirror each other to form strong bonding among themselves. In fact, secret behind mirroring in human has been discovered after doing research on monkeys since they share identical genetic profile with us.

Do watch an interesting presentation delivered by Prof. Dr. Vilayanur Ramachandran (Professor of Behavioral Neurology and Psychoanalysis, University of California, United States of America) at TED on discovery and function of Mirror Neurons.


However, the conscious mirroring is good for convincing or sympathizing only in appropriate situations and at proper degree. It’s not useful if the initiating person becomes aware of it and express distress. Please read these interesting conclusions by a researcher at University of California, San Diego.

Related Articles:
1) Like attracts like 2) Making true friends 3) Secret behind imitation 4) Secondary Attraction 5) Facial Feedback: World smiles with you!

November 21, 2010

Elevator Etiquette

It’s human nature to feel intimidated or uneasy in proximity of strangers. Until we don’t know their intentions and motives, we tend to struggle for keep safer distance from them. Also, even if we know others, we respect their private spaces and let them feel more comfortable and express intimacy only when it's acceptable or allowed in the given situation.

Basically, there are only reasons to invade or intrude the personal and intimate zones i. e. either to attack and harm somebody or to get intimate with somebody. Hence, lesser the physical distance remains between any two individuals, more both of them expect non-offense, courtesy and carefulness. Otherwise, they try to fight or run away (flight) for their own safety.

Like commuting by a public transport vehicle, we share a very limited amount of space inside elevators and more often we encounter strangers at a very close distance.

Following things would not lead us to any unwelcoming situation or embarrassment:

1) Don’t call anybody by their names, share jokes or touch them. Don’t use any sign language that other may not interpret.

2) Don’t talk until its emergency. Don’t gesticulate, laugh or make any kind of facial expressions or noise if possible.

3) Maintain straight posture and don’t lean at anybody. Don’t appreciate or show any intimacy towards person you know.

4) Don’t look at anybody and keep your gaze straight and upward. You may look at the floor counter or simply mimic reading magazine or newspaper only if it doesn’t touch with body of others.

5) Keep your voice low if you need to attend call on cell phone.

6) Don’t hurry to get out of elevator until you don’t stand close to exit door. You may simply request others to make way to it.

7) Keep baggage in your hands hanging and don’t juggle with it.

8) Kindly request others to push button if it's out of your reach.

9) To cut this icy situation, you may simply address everybody by line “It’s nice day today.” very decently. Seasonal and festival greetings are just great!

10) While existing elevator, saying “Good bye”, “Have a great day” with hand wave and decent smile would certainly help dwellers feel nice.

Perhaps, you may find yourself and many persons following all of these etiquette already since years.

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1) Secret of Metropolitan nervousness 2) Workspace Etiquette 3) Proxemics 4) Online Etiquette

Basic Emotional Expressions

According to renowned American psychologist Prof. Dr. Paul Ekman, seven basic emotions are widely experienced in different human cultures across the planet. Expressing emotions is not required to be taught. It's an autonomous process and we all inherit it from our remote common ancestors.

Apart of the seven basic emotions, all other emotions (and their expressions) can be classified under a particular emotion or as a combination of different emotions. For example, aggressiveness is closely related with anger whereas nervousness is combination of fear and sadness.

Don't forget to watch below YouTube video of Dr. Paul Ekman himself talking about the emotions - their evolution, purpose and sensory stimulus.


1) Fear: It’s a state of preparing to run away from imagined or actual warning or danger.

Eyebrows tensely get curled, shoulders fall down, neck gets stiff, gaze get focused or redirected, eyes get widely open to let more light pass to retina, mouth opens wide to let more air pass to lungs, vocal tone trembles, respiration soars, heartbeats goes up, face faints, throat dries and saliva’s swallowed, torso lowers, stomach gets pulled inside, whole body starts sweating and shivering, hands appear muffling mouth to suppress scream, body hides itself behind something and feet gets ready to flee.

2) Anger: It’s a state of preparing to threaten, retaliate or punish somebody. Whole body is provoked, tightened or bluffed to appear bigger and hostile.

Eyes get wide open signaling to target of being caught and to warn inhibiting its activities, body temperature starts rising, gaze gets more fixated and short darts move all over target, eyelids bat faster, neck gets stiff or tilts either side, face and eyes turn red, shoulders become broad, torso elevates, chest puffs, nostrils balloon, respiration soars, pulse jumps, lips get tightly closed or opened, teeth get exhibited, vocal tone gets fierce, arms get crossed over chest or rest on hips and feet get firmly grounded and separated apart to prepare for attack.

3) Disgust: It’s a state of exhibiting loathe or lack of interest about person, situation or object.

Torso and face gets disoriented, eyes faint, heartbeat drops, gaze becomes more fleeting than fixated, mouth gets opened on either side with displaying teeth, lips curl down, lower lips push out, tongue protrudes, nostrils pull upward, breath exhales briskly, throat clearing sound generates, sounds like “Yuck”, “Whack”, “Ooom” expel from mouth, vocal tone gets dull, hands push or hold disgusting thing away.

4) Sadness: It’s a state of disapproval or physical exhaustion to make person appear in a demand of others' attention and support.

Posture loosens, back hunches, responses dampen, neck hangs or tilts side way down, hands support neck or cover face, shoulders lower, respiration rate drops, gaze gets hovering around own body, eyes barely open, lower lips rides over upper, edges of mouth curl down, palms clamp together and rest on lap or hid in pocket, vocal tone get dull - heavy and sluggish, sounds like “Hmm”, “Whoosh” expel from mouth.

5) Surprise: It’s a state of curiosity and great attention being paid to object, person, situation or phenomenon that is unexpected, inexperienced or takes place suddenly.

Eyes get wide open to let more light pass to retina, eyebrows raise, neck remains straight or tilts backward, mouth gets wide open and lips get rounded, hair raise, jaw drops, vocal tone accentuates, sounds like “Wow”, “Ohh” expel from mouth, torso gets raised, hands are kept in ready position, whole body faces and points partially or fully towards the source of surprise.

6) Happiness: It’s a state of expressing and enjoying some kind of achievement, benefit, fulfillment or victory. Whole body starts sending messages of excitement, friendliness, open and outgoing or sharing temperament.

Posture elevates, footsteps appear flying, movements become energetic - wavy - swiveling, facial muscles get relaxed, mouth opens, edges of mouth curl upward, teeth get partially or fully exhibited, eyes glitter, gaze remains more upward or ahead and away from body, palms gets open and held upward, hands get separated and raised shoulder high or above, vocal tone gets crunchy - chirpy - sweet, sound like “Ha…Ha...Ha...”, “Hurray…” “Ho...Ho…”, “Hey...Hey...”, “Yeah”, “Yippee…”, “Yee Haw” expels from mouth.

7) Contempt: It's an expression of the superiority i. e. assumption about oneself as better than the other (in some areas) or an utter dislike.

Unlike other six basic expressions, contempt is expressed consciously or thoughtfully and mostly on face.

Narrowed eyes, lips tightly press together and either edge of mouth gets pulled upward appearing like an asymmetrical smile. Often, sound like "Hhhhh" rapidly expels from mouth.

Either or both edges of lips deeply pinched inside cheeks is also an expression of contempt.

Related Articles:
1) Survival of communicator 2) "Nonverbal" is alien way of communication? 3) "The expression of emotions in man and animals" 4) Evolution of Nonverbal communication 5) Emotional expressions are manipulated 6) Emotional Intelligence and success 7) Women are body language experts8) Genius of acting 9) Observation is the key 11) Body Language Brain 12) Common Facial Expressions 13) Common Hand Gestures 14) Fear Factor 15) Indian Classical Dances 16) Is learning micro expression really useful? 17) Botox hampers emotional awareness 18) Recognizing emotional expressions: Scientific viewpoints 19) Should leaders show emotions? 20) Blind Sight is enough to pick emotions 21) Basic responses in stressful situations

November 13, 2010

Why we wave hands at others?

We wave hand(s) to friends, fans, guests, neighbors, colleagues and relatives while saying “Hi”, “See You”, “Bye”, “Good Bye”, “Meet you”, “Miss you” or “Take care” etc. Sometimes words can’t reach due to distance barrier but mere hand wave works.

We feel better when we watch others waving their hands with a few lovely words with smiles on their faces while confronting us or going away. Why waving hands to make us and others feel better? Why we have become so habitual of it?

Hand wave simply serves very a basic purpose that makes us social animals by exhibiting our disarmed, non-hostile and friendly intentions. By holding open palms with stretched fingers up above and visible to others silently conveys "Feel completely safe from me! I'm not holding any arm or weapon".

If somebody who knows you well is going away from you or departing the shared physical space then the very first thing that might lurk in the person's unconscious mind is if you're going to luanch an attack from behind or a distance by using your hands with the help of an arm or a weapon of some kind.

Waving hand isn't as formal like shaking hand. The social ritual of hand shake is like a treaty of ensuring mutual disarmament and willingness to connect
by touching each other mutually whereas a hand wave communicates harmlessness from a distance.

It’s our natural tendency to get attracted to thing that moves. Thus a hand wave becomes attention seeker while we say “Hey” or “Hello” aloud. It can convey “Do you see me?" or "I’m here.”. In return, other person may respond by waving hands reciprocating “Yes! I see you.” or "I'm coming to you".

It has become social and casual practice of showing off openness, friendliness and harmless intentions. More affectionate and intimate hand wave silently says "Don't forget me...", "I care for you..." or "Come again...".

Related Articles
1) What is hand shake? 2) Why we smile? 3) Why we hug? 4) Positive Body Language 5) Woman's Courtship Body Language (Part 1) 6) Making true friends

November 07, 2010

What hand shake conveys about person?

In modern world, hand shake has become an integral part of our social lives. There are different kinds of hand shakes that are exercised consciously and unconsciously by us, across the globe. Let’s try to decode what they convey unconsciously about the person's nature who is involved in shaking hand with you.

1) CRUSHER hand shake: Palm is gripped too hard so it squeezes and starts paining. Ultimately, fingertips get faint due to low supply of blood. Person exercising it can be too dominating, egoistic and careless of sentiments. Women receiving this hand shake would definitely hinder further exchange. Persons working as labor, porter or mechanic may exercise it.

2) ISOLATION hand shake: Person exercising this hands hake doesn’t lean towards other person and doesn’t bend his hand at elbow. Person exercising this hand shake may not be social and often stays isolated or private. Such person might have some reservations and deserves more favorable conditions or needs understanding to let him/her to interact socially.

3) DEAD FISH hand shake: When enough grip is not felt by fingers, palm doesn’t fully contact and wrist’s kept loose then it seems like someone has given dead fish in your hand. Person exercising it might be lacking enthusiasm, passion and confidence. Such person would be hardly trusted and needs a moral boost.

4) SKIPPER hand shake: When only fingers of other person touches to your palm then it seems that person wants to avoid full contact of palms and is in hurry. Person exercising it might be not paying enough attention to you or not serious about relationship or refraining it. In some cases, person might have some genuine reason to skip handshake and rush for other tasks.

You would most likely receive such hand shake from surgeons, craftsmen or performing artists because they protect their fingers from being hurt. Also, women or religious leaders may offer this hand shake as part of custom.

5) DOMED PALM hand shake: When palm of other person doesn’t exert enough pressure on yours and it appears to be curved inside then that person may want to not maintain rapport with you willfully. Striking positive communication from your side could alter person's perceptions about you.

6) SLAPPING hand shake: When other person exercises a hand shake in a way that his/her palm slaps or strikes to yours; it appears that person's making an impression. Such person underrates himself/herself (compared to you) and wants fake domination. Such person need to have self-esteem and faith in himself/herself.

7) PALM UP/DOWN hand shake: When palm of other person faces downward (palm down) then it simply expresses desire of controlling the relationship whereas palm facing upwards (palm up) expresses desire of letting you control it. Such kind of handshakes is offered to maintain hierarchy or favoritism. This handshake should be avoided to motivate equality.

8) INVADER hand shake: When person pushes hand much inside (stab) or pulls your hand out (grab) of invisible interpersonal boundary then it’s quite obvious that person is unaware of comfortable social distance. Such person should undergo immediate consultation.

9) HANDCUFF hand shake: When hand of other person covers over union of palms then it becomes the handcuff. Person exercising it wants to gain or express sympathy and fulfill personal interest. Most politicians offer this kind of handshake during election campaigns or meeting thus it's less trustworthy.

It can be exercised in exceptional case such as at the time of condolence or while passing deep gratitude informally.

10) HYGIENIC hand shake: When person suddenly withdraws hand right after palms come into contact then it suggests that the person wants to avoid any kind of infection caused by physical contact or proximity. Such person may not want to communicate (at given time) with you spontaneously due to some personal differences or insecure feelings. Also, kids may exercise it with strangers.

11) CLOSE UP hand shake: When person exercises a hands hake by keeping keeping hand in front of chest, bringing torso and face much closer then it becomes very personal and intimate. This kind of handshake’s only acceptable among women, children, elders children, close relatives and couples closely. Politicians and bureaucrats might exercise it to ensure trustworthiness looking into eyes.

Related Articles:
1) What is hand shake? 2) Retaining positive impression of hand shake 3) Why we hug? 4) Why we smile? 5) The Power of Handshake

October 30, 2010

Retaining positive impression of hand shake

We've seen how a good and positive hand shake is exercised. It's time to know that which things need to be avoided to retain positive impression that hand shake builds. Avoidable things mentioned below negatively affect the very basic purpose of this ritual - expression of openness, cooperativeness, enthusiasm, and harmless state. Just charge yourself with faith and self-esteem before engaging in a hand shake.

Do not touch, scratch, pinch or rub any parts of your own body; it could invite irritation from other side. If you engage in hand shake first time with other person, it's very important not to touch his/her body parts also. Don't put free or hold it behind your back because it communicates lack of enthusiasm or suspicion.

Don't exercise hand shake with gloves put on as much as possible. Don't put free hand on hips because it's a sign of aggression and domination. Don't point at any direction by the free hand; it communicates disorientation.

Don't point by fingers at the person you're engaged with in hand shaking because it's invading. Don't keep any objects between you and other person like chair, table, file, folder, cup, mug etc. Don't shake hand over the walls, roofs or partitions if possible. Don't look downward or upward after the hand shake.

Simply give brief glance at the eye level to either side and return gaze to other person with a smile. Don't cross hands over chest after the hand shake. Also, exchange some good words with open and empty palm of the other hand by keeping it clearly visible to the other person.

Most important thing is not to exercise a hand shake every now and then during an initial interaction or while being introduced. It simply communicates that you're imposing yourself on the other person or want to get more out of the deal.

In only few cultures, it's permissible or normal to exercise a hand shake frequently. Almost globally, hand shake at the beginning and at the end of interaction is a normal practice. Generally, women don't offer a hand shake on their own in most societies and cultures.

Only after the rapport between you and other person gets established over a time after multiple interactions, it's appropriate to briefly touch his/her wrist, elbow or shoulder to express trust and also to boost union.

This would help to reduce formality and to promote friendliness between individuals who are familiar with other. It should be exercised between equal ranking personals or should be offered seniors to sub-ordinates.

Related Articles:
1) What is hand shake? 2) What hand shake conveys about person? 3) Why we hug? 4) Why we smile? 5) The Power of Handshake

Women are body language experts

Women are supposed to be better and faster than men in interpreting body language because of they have such extraordinary abilities and instinctive skills to do so in the first place. In short, women are the real body language experts and also they have accurate judgements about someone's character. They may not analyze each nonverbal clue separately like an analyst but they can sense or feel them together. While men try to interpret, women intuit or feel instinctively. They are inborn body language experts. Why is it so in the first place?

Today's mechanized, industrialized and economically liberal environment existing world over is a recent achievement in the entire known human history. Before modernization and industrialization, most women remained dependent on their tribe's male members for safety, security and resource gathering throughout the millions of years of the human evolution. Most young males were protectors, hunters, fighters, foragers and navigators whereas most females were care-takers, socializers, farmers, cultivators, food preparers and preservers.

As it is an integral part of their physiology, women give birth to children. They face a great challenge of understanding every condition that babies are going through only by observing their facial expressions, gestures, postures, movements and voice (tone and pitch) since babies can't communicate verbally like an experienced, grown-up, learned or trained person. This very challenge has transformed them into the excellent care-takers. Higher level of Estrogen makes women emotionally intelligent and very sensitive to people's feelings.

Emotional interaction with babies is secret of social awareness.

Also, they resonate to baby's facial expressions and vocal tone to sympathize and create a strong bond. They unconsciously use brain's both prefrontal hemispheres to process emotional and para-linguistic data. Understanding others and responding to them properly was crucial for survival and also to propagate (fitter) genes to next generations. Otherwise, what would have happened to the entire human race is just beyond our wildest imagination.

Tribal men used to resolve most of the issues, overcome their challenges and meet the demands by using muscles, getting physical, using tools and skills, fighting and competing. On the other hand, women chose an entirely opposite approach to resolve and overcome issues with harmonious, non-confrontational and non-harming solutions. That's why they are more expressive, sensitive, empathetic, verbally skilled, articulating and diplomatic than most men.


Due to enormous responsibility of rearing children and assuring continuation of genetic lineage, women are the great social observers, people readers, character scanners, behavior profilers and lie detectors in comparison to the most men. Most women can quickly detect men cheating on them while most men are poor in detecting who is cheating on them, let alone women. Also, women are really good at clandestine intelligence gathering.

Men too can become experts or at least better in reading body language like women, only with developing the habit of keen observation and accurately analyzing different clues in the given situation or circumstance. Developing the contextual awareness in different situations can help men in mastering people reading. The ability to empathize with others is required to become a good communicator.

[Special Note: According to Google Analytics, women share more than 60% of total visits to this website from September 2010. This numeric fact profoundly proves that women are more sensitive to social dynamics and reading people.]

Related Articles:
1) The ways woman provokes her man to be protective 2) Evolution of Nonverbal communication 3) "The expression of emotions in man and animals" 4) "Nonverbal" is alien way of communication? 5) Emotional expressions are manipulated 6) Unlimited potentials of nonverbal knowledge 7) Basic emotional expressions 8) Survival of communicator 9) Woman’s Courtship Body Language (Part 1) 10) Woman’s Courtship Body Language (Part 2) 11) Observation is the key 12) Child inside us 13) Social Footsteps 14) The spy we love 15) Genders affects body language reading 16) Face of liar(?)

October 25, 2010

What is Hand shake?

Hand shake is almost a global ritual for establishing mutual confidence and faith with equality, cooperativeness, and friendliness. Handshake is an initiating gesture and more formal way of connecting with people and encouraging them for further interactions.

A hand shake can make or break the deal in no time. Not offering or receiving it appropriately i. e. not considering the kind of environment, gender, age, authority, mood of person could invite shame, rejection or even hostility.

How the effective hand shaking should be? Let's try to find out how it evolved in the first place in our social behavioral repertoire. Until we don't know the same, we wouldn't realize its importance in today's context.

Basically, hand shaking is to communicate the harmless state. According a story, roman soldiers used to check each other by touching or running their fingers on wrists, forearms and elbows to ensure that they are not holding or hiding any arm or weapon.

Furthermore, holding and shaking hands together would let any blade or dagger fall to the ground. Isn't that interesting? Keep in mind that shaking hand is to let others know that you are approaching them friendly and want to connect.

A positive and formal handshake is exercised by two persons by standing upright, facing each other at comfortable distance, pointing feet towards each other, keeping neck straight and not stiff, smiling on face, meeting gaze, touching each others palm in vertical direction by firmly griping fingers over them and slowly moving hands up and down at least 2-3 times.

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1) Retaining positive impression of hand shake 2) What hand shake conveys about person? 3) Why we hug? 4) Why we smile? 5) Job Interview Tips 6) Importance of Touch 7) The Power of Handshake

Emotional Intelligence and Success

We think that our materialist knowledge and skills to operate and handle many things would help us in achieving what we want in our life. Do you really think that this assumption is true? If it was the case then we might not have run in many issues in our lives related with emotions. We live in a world that is full of people with different interests, motives and orientations.

We can neither keep fighting with others all the time nor let ourselves completely surrender to the others for getting successful in our lives. Nevertheless, we surely can try to understand each other in terms of emotions, feelings, intentions and motives only because of the shared commonalities.

Prof. Dr. Howard Gardner

It's not at all possible until an individual isn't capable of understanding its own emotions, feelings and motives to be able detect them in others. Howard Gardner (the founder of Multiple Intelligence theory) greatly emphasizes on emotional awareness. Success mostly depends upon how an individual precisely understand other's emotions and reponds appropriately i. e. whether the individual is emotionally intelligent or not.

Traits like openness, ingenuity, tolerance, politeness, resilience, courage, diligence, determination, confidence, cooperativeness, compassion, competency, consistency, commitment, comfort level, maturity, self-esteem, strength, enthusiasm, trustworthiness, respectfulness, kindness, foreseeability and affection give clear insight of individual nature. In short, body language and nonverbal communication clues gives an overall idea abut an emotional character of a individual.

We have an inherited ability to realize an emotional interplay at an unconsciously level even we don't emphasize or not paying enough attention to nonverbal clues we collect unconsciously.

All individual characteristics can only be judged through face-to-face interactions or deliberate observations but most of us don't pay much importance to the same and ultimately invite many troubles everywhere.

Until we don't realize the great importance of emotional intelligence and social situational awareness, we would keep the most valuable body language clues undervalued and ignored at all time.

Emotions are common and natural but traits and temperaments of an individual broadly determine its destiny. Want to know your own EQ (Emotional Quotient)? Please don't at all forget to take this test.

Related Articles:
1) Evolution of Nonverbal communication 2) "The expression of emotions in man and animals" 3) "Nonverbal" is alien way of communication? 4) Emotional expressions are manipulated 5) Unlimited potentials 6) Basic emotional expressions 7) Social Footsteps 8) Botox hampers emotional awareness 9) Should leaders show emotions?

October 18, 2010

Emotional expressions are manipulated

We are the smartest liars.
All non-human creatures of our planet survive and reproduce naturally in their respective ecosystems. They survive with their sheer physical capabilities, instincts, reflexes and predictive behaviors while lacking verbal abilities like us. Hence they find no difficulty in understanding, judging each other and responding accordingly.

This is not entirely true in human world because everybody of us isn't predictive every time at all. We need to spend more mental energy in predicting what other person sitting or standing in front of us might be thinking (about us) at the very given moment. This is exactly what every parents needs to teach their children along with the words and numbers.

Actually, all verbal languages came into existence for accelerating exchange and spreading the information rapidly to many individuals at the same time. Even though the languages are the greatest gift to the mankind, verbal communication enables us to lie, mislead, deceive, divert and distract on a large scale. Other creatures can't do the same.

If we consider this as a thumb rule then nonverbal expressions should match with verbal message that anyone conveys. This doesn't happens every time because thinking is an unique quality that gives us an enormous amount of power to control, suppress and manipulate true emotional expressions on purpose.

Picking clues of distress
For securing personal or social interests, both verbal and nonverbal message is consciously regulated to inhibit or tamper actual underlying motivations. Expressions discord with words while deceiving, betraying or diverting somebody.

Brain immediately anticipates the threat of being exposed or getting caught and tries to get rid of it somehow. Therefore defensive, distracting or submissive gestures, postures and expressions are automatically adapted or given away.

Some of us are very good lie detectors because they can accurately pick nonverbal clues like fear, sadness, guilt or nervousness being suppressed by the liars. We wonder about abilities of such individuals but they have nothing but proven expertise of monitoring and interpreting emotional expressions of others and most importantly - their own.

Many a times different emotions are expressed in form of subtle facial muscle movements in which they occur in only a part of the face or otherwise at a very low intensities. A recent research has shown that the ability to recognize the subtle emotional facial expressions is an extremely advantageous in detecting deception.

Humintell's Subtle Expression Recognition Training (SubX) tool was originally funded by and developed for the different governmental agencies within the United States of America (USA). I've passed the same course with Proficient level of accuracy, at the speed of 200 milliseconds.



Related Articles:
1) Evolution of Nonverbal communication 2) "The expression of emotions in man and animals" 3) "Nonverbal" is alien way of communication? 4) Emotional Intelligence and Success 5) Women are body language experts 6) Unlimited potentials of Nonverbal Knowledge 7) Basic emotional expressions 8) Survival of communicator 9) My career saving lie detection 10) Recognizing emotional expressions: Scientific viewpoints 11) Are you a 'flying' terrorist? 12) Entire body can’t lie

October 10, 2010

Unlimited Potentials of Nonverbal Knowledge

Today, robots, machines, cell-phones, devices and computers are being taught or programmed to interpret emotions and respond them appropriately. This overtly underlines the profound effectiveness and necessity of nonverbal communication. If machines will communicate with us nonverbally in future then why not we, surviving from millions of years using the same channel of communication, master it again by ourselves?

We're one of the best moving and living creatures that the mighty mother nature has developed, shaped and modified over a millions years. We inherit nobody other than our own ancestors. In comparison to any artificial and non-biological machines, it's very easy for us because we inherently have everything that is required to gain mastery in human nonverbal communication (HNVC).

Whenever detecting, analyzing, recognizing, understanding and decoding emotions, attitudes, sentiments, moods, feelings, phobias, drives, desires, wishes, ambitions, motivations, intentions, intuitions, inclinations, urges, emergencies, needs, stances, temperaments, biases, orientations, experiences, opinions, social statuses and trustworthiness is necessary in interacting and working with people then involuntary, instinctive, spontaneous, obvious, overt, micro, subtle, leaking or even suppressed nonverbal clues can be analyzed as per their availability.

Therefore knowledge of body language, emotional expressions and nonverbal communication can be harnessed not only in personal, professional and social life but also in different fields like education, sports, entertainment, media, fashion, advertisement, performing arts, public relationship, psychoanalysis, counseling, human resource, marketing, servicing, tourism, hospitality, disaster management, rehabilitation, health care, counseling, security, intelligence, law & order, international relationships, defense, diplomacy, administration, strategic planning, ergonomics etc.


Lawyers, doctors, therapists, teachers, trainers, psychotherapists, politicians, diplomats, media analysts, businessmen, traders, counselors, negotiators, sellers, investigators, detectives, security officials, secret agents and even con-artists closely and routinely interact with people and influence them as an integral part of their occupation.

They need to be very smart, quick and also accurate enough to interpret people nonverbally in real time. Matter of fact is our own parents, grand parents and great grand parents had to be well-versed in reading people nonverbally in the first place.

Almost everybody can develop such an enormously advantageous skill within oneself. It’s for sure that proficiency in decoding body language and nonverbal communication would let you know yourself and others way better like never ever before.

Also, it would pave a super-path way towards success, harmony and happiness. Moreover, rise in consciousness towards our own body would fulfill a great purpose of being in harmony with the world full of people and different creatures.

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October 05, 2010

Evolution of Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal Communication simply means communication without or in absence of words. We mostly communicate nonverbally throughout our lives but many of us don't really understand what Nonverbal Communication is exactly since we've become massively dependent upon spoken and written languages. So let’s try to understand that why and how exactly nonverbal communication evolved in the first place.

We all know that our ancestors faced same challenges like any other creatures. To survive successfully, any creature has to 1) defend itself from predators and adverse climatic conditions 2) mark and defend certain geographical area for shelter 3) find and preserve food to live upon 4) attract a mate, protect it and produce off-springs 5) take care of off-springs and teach them same techniques and manners 6) cooperate and coordinate with members of same species as well as others to seize opportunities and minimize risk to life.

To have aforementioned skills and capabilities, an intelligent system came into existence which senses each factor subjected with survival and responds to it appropriately. We know that sensory organs send signals to brain, brain processes them and finally signals are sent back to various parts of body and organs. It's an entirely closed-loop communication system.

Capability of sensing and reacting to and by various forms of signals like sounds, vocal tones, movements, gestures, facial expressions, postures, body positions, smells and colors are basic characteristics of nonverbal communication. All of these nonverbal communicational characteristics are deeply rooted in our expression of emotions, feelings, motives and intentions.

Word “Emotion” has been derived from word “Emote” and it simply means as “to drive”. An emotion can be generally defined as “a pre-defined or hard-coded survival strategy of reacting to environment, incidents or entities”. We all share and live under the influence emotions because they have deeper, wider and crucial importance for us.

Emotions and their elaborate expressions evolved in mammals as behavioral reflexes or fixed response patterns. They have helped our ancestors and they help us with each specific emotion securing a distinct survival interest.

Different emotions have different purposes.

What each emotion or reflex basically does? Fear helps body to move way from source of danger, anger to reprove or retaliate, anxiety to anticipate risks or dangers, suspect to demand assurance, pride to challenge rivals, respect to secure favors from others and affection to create bonds.

Unconsciously, we reciprocate, react with and respond to people, environment and entities around us on the basis of emotions and feelings only that take shape inside our own brains.

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September 29, 2010

“The Expression of Emotions in Man and Animals”

We have been continuously facing various environmental, social and psychological challenges since millions of years. However, facing and overcoming challenges will continue until we go extinct. Despite of modern technologies and inventions, we live almost same way the other creatures do. Yet most of us would out-rightly deny with anger that we are just the advanced technological creatures. The denial doesn't changes the facts.

Though we share most of our characteristics with other creatures, it might be quite hard for most of us to regard ourselves as an 'animal race'. Though scientific and technological advancements separate humans from other of creatures, this accomplishment has been done in over a tiniest period of the entire history of evolution. Believe it or not but we're very young species according to the entire Earth's biological history.

Common Human and Ape ancestry

Sir Charles Darwin, the one of the founders of “Theory of Evolution” was once criticized through a cartoon in which he was depicted as an ape, holding a mirror in front of another ape’s face which is seating next to him. Even today, an individual is publicly taunted as 'monkey' due to his/her behavior similar to monkeys.

In 19th century, contemporary society and scientific community couldn’t accept his conclusion drawn after his decades of study and research that apes (higher primates) and we share common ancestry. Debate is still continue, both in support and opposition of Darwinism.

However, a very few of us might know and duly recognize that same revolutionary genius has ultimately laid the firm foundation stones of modern science of the human emotions, their expressions, body language and nonverbal communication.

He also succeeded in finding and establishing similarities between human and animal expressions. Later, most other scientists and researchers re-visited, re-studied, re-verified and re-introduced the same conclusions in one or the another way.

His famous book “The expression of emotions in man and animals” is one of the preliminary writings that covers valuable conclusions drawn after closely observing humans and animals communicating nonverbally.

Today, modern scientific world has being trying to find out origin of different behaviors and their variations. Many psychologists and behavioral researchers have given contribution to this interesting field after Darwin.

Eventually, this quest has brought revolution in this field of social and communication sciences. It's your curiosity about the same has brought to you to this website.

It's none other than the Darwin's greatest gift for all of us is shedding a bright light on human behavior, emotions and their expressions.

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September 20, 2010

Is "Nonverbal" an alien way of communication?

This age is indeed the age of massive revolution in human communication. We’re constantly, continuously and consistently being introduced to newer technologies, platforms, channels, devices and gadgets. Positively, many superficial factors are being rectified by latest neuro-psychological research by anticipating future challenges.

Along with all of these things, we’re hearing a new buzz word “Body Language” and this dialect is gaining considerable amount of attention, right from our homes to the corporate offices worldwide. The phrase is being used by people from age groups almost everywhere.

Some experts are couching us to help shaping effective, smart and friendly ways which could benefit us personally, professionally, financially, socially and nevertheless romantically. So does it mean that body language is an entirely new dialect itself? Is "Nonverbal" an alien way of communication?

Several research projects over body language and nonverbal communication began in 19th century and their common conclusions were both startling and enlightening for all of us. Body Language and Nonverbal Communication is being used by us unconsciously from millions of years. Also, it remained evolving along with us while facing new psycho-sociological challenges.

Our ancestors developed, evolved and used it as a common communication platform for very need of survival and socialization before any verbal language evolved. Even after verbal languages or dialects coming into existence, body language is still effective but most of us are not aware of it. In modern era, we use body language to support verbal communication but almost unconsciously.

Since the words are unnecessarily emphasized almost all the time, we are becoming more and more mutually ignorant about expression of emotions, feelings, motives and intentions. We're ultimately inviting the lack of deeper mutual understanding, reciprocity and empathy everywhere.

Are we becoming social dummies?

Our personal, professional and social relationships are at risk due to not expressing ourselves and interpreting each other accurately as our ancestors did. Though some languages are endangered due to not fulfilling some contemporary demands-standards and aversive to change, body language is unchallenged and it exists globally.

We communicate throughout the day almost nonverbally, over our entire life span. We have bodies and we talk through them. It’s at the core of our emotions, feelings, motives and intentions urges so doubting about it is just like underestimating struggle for survival of our own race.

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September 16, 2010

Survival of Communicator

Human race has successfully survived from last couple of millions of years not because of its intelligence and skills to adapt well and efficiently in different environments, climates and physical conditions but also effective interpersonal, social and strategic communication. In fact, larger brain evolved in us to develop better understanding about and communicate efficiently with each other.

Effective, timely and harmonious social communication is not only about exchanging facts, data and info with clarity and accuracy but also building mutual trust and confidence to be able to avert dangerous, to fight adversities, to overcome challenges and to capitalize opportunities for surviving over a longer period of time. Thus communication can make difference between life and death.

In this modern age, we mostly communicate with help of words and numbers. However words share only a few percentage of the personal insights in comparison to what body reveals. Literal meaning of words can be acknowledged but motivations or intentions behind them may not be exactly understood if we don’t pay attention to pronunciations, body language and facial expressions of person that utters them.

Nonverbal Communication is universal.

As like other creatures, we evolved to communicate primarily through bodily expressions because they are definite and apparent. A calm and cheerful person relaxing in a reclined chair gives away a pleasant and non-threatening clues whereas an out-crying infant expresses helplessness and an urge of immediate attention by others. Hence, no special training or experience is required for interpreting basic emotional expressions.

What exactly makes us as a superior race on this planet is our social and emotional reciprocation with each other which doesn't happen only with the help of the words and numbers. What lies in our future is completely unpredictable but one this is certain that the nature would support the survival of better communicator.

According to my contemplation, Communication cannot be separated from (being in) Existence itself in the first place. Everything that exists does consciously or unconsciously, directly or indirectly, subtly or overtly and silently or loudly sends out different kinds of hints, clues, signals and messages.

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