Reading Body Language - Proxemics

During Golden Globe Award Ceremony of 2016, an unusual incident happened. After her name being announced as a receiver of an award, the famous American singer Lady Gaga started walking towards stage. While making her way through audience, she briefly brushed off behind the chair on which the famous Hollywood actor Leonardo DiCaprio was sitting.

 

While reacting to the same quite spontaneously, viscerally and unconsciously, his unique facial expression and nose touching made the headlines all around the globe and several YouTube clips were published. Why he would have done it after all? Let's find out very reason behind the same.

In last two articles, we have seen that how clustering and congruence are crucial for reading body language. Now let's  move on towards understanding the importance of interpersonal distance which is called as PROXEMICS. It is the study of human use of space and the effects that population density has on behaviour, communication and social interaction.

 

Wars are fought over a piece of land but most of us really don’t realize that the interpersonal distance or physical space between any two individuals plays a great role in and also affects stress level, hostility, aggression, comfort level and overall relationship. Interpersonal distance becomes critically important while encountering or meeting a complete stranger. So let's take an example from the real life so it would make sense very clearly.

 

It's an usual day in the company and you start working on routine tasks. Suddenly, team leader informs you that few newly recruited members are joining your team. You are asked to gather at some place for getting formally introduced with them face to face. Until this moment both parties might not have seen each other so little amount of nervousness coupled with excitement lurks inside everyone's mind.

 

While looking at each other, both parties smile nervously but avoid prolong eye contact except those who develop the feelings of physical attraction for each other instantaneously. Formal hand shake, mutual introduction and exchanging a few words take place by keeping socially accepted distance from each other. Even, the team or group leader keeps socially accepted distance from the new joiner.

At the beginning, getting face to face is filled with uneasiness and anxiety. Glancing at either side of own body, looking down, hovering gaze, putting hands in pocket, giving nervous look or smile, grabbing things in palms, moving torso away or crossing arms over chest can be observed being done unconsciously by both parties.

 

They don't come close to each other or interact voluntarily like seniors or more experienced colleagues do among themselves. An accidental touch and trespassing is regretted and asked felt sorry for. Also, the new joiners form their own group despite of unfamiliarity among themselves.

Some days pass and regular work-related interactions start taking place between you and new joiners. Apart from work, everybody starts talking, sharing and complementing with each others irrespective of tenure in the company. It gives opportunity of judging, profiling and knowing each other consciously or unconsciously.

 

Although it's not precise, we naturally tend to figure out mutual strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes. Also, it's not at all necessary and obligatory that every junior member of a team become close companion of every other senior. Some subconscious needs, reservations, biases, orientations and/or complexes motivate us to form a bond with more like minded persons.

Initial awkwardness, shyness, nervousness and disorientation slowly fades. Interactions start happening at close distance as compared to earlier days. Touching, seating or standing closer, eating together, whispering, handling personal stuff or a prolonged eye contact becomes normal.

 

Everybody starts looking at faces and into the eyes of each other quite comfortably. Postures of two interacting persons become quite grounded, firm and relaxed. Strong rapport is established among new joiners and senior team members over the time. Meeting and greeting each other brings excitement and freshness at workspace.

Doesn't it appear like a miracle? Gradual shrinking of interpersonal space and development of new relationship! Why we tend to stay away from new people in the beginning and get closer gradually (or in worst case - drift away)? Certainly, it's really worth interesting and enlightening to know in the first place.

Too close?

Interpersonal space or distance between two individuals is crucial factor for judging that if other person or object is in favor of our survival interests. It's a core mechanism of our  subconscious mind of gathering visual clues and deciding to move towards it, let it to move towards ourselves or step back and run away from it. 

 

When the space required to watch (hear and smell too) others and decide the strategy is intruded, invaded or trespassed with unknown intentions (by strangers), we feel very uncomfortable, challenged, dominated, offended or stressed. Limbic system starts sending flight or fight signals to the body.

 

Basically, there are only reasons to invade or intrude the personal and/or intimate zones i. e. either to attack and harm somebody or to get intimate with somebody. Hence, lesser the physical distance remains between any two individuals, more both of them expect non-offense, courtesy and carefulness. Otherwise, they try to fight or run away (flight) for their own safety.

 

Until we don't spend enough time in observing and judging the level of hostility, degree of harmfulness, intentions, motives and temperament of the other person, we don't want to allow it to come closer with ourselves. Until we don't judge anything or anybody as harmless, we want to keep a safe distance with the same.

 

Edward T. Hall, the cultural anthropologist has defined four different zones around our body. Each zone is a circular area in which we let other to enter or stay depending upon kind of relationship we're seeking or currently have with them. Below are approximate distances with which Edward T. Hall put up his theory but radius of each zone may vary culture, society or geography wise.

 

Different zones of proxemics (Interpersonal Distance)

 

1) Intimate Zone (from 6 to 18 inches): This is the zone a person guards as individual property. Only romantic partner, close friends and relatives are allowed to enter in it.

2) Personal Zone (from 18 to 48 inches): This is the distance we keep from others during friendly interactions, social gatherings or parties.

3) Social Zone (from 4 to 12 feet): This is the distance we keep from strangers or persons with a little or no acquaintance at all.

 
4) Public Zone (beyond 12 feet): This is the distance we maintain while interacting or addressing to large group of people.

Even though we allow individuals like siblings, parents, children, friends and partners to enter in our personal and/or intimate zones; there are a few occasions, situation and circumstances in which invasion of personal and/or intimate zones is entertained, allowed or tolerated without showing overt sign of distress and discomfort. Sharing public spaces like bench in a park or a desk in a pubic library are few examples of the same.

 

Also, there are a few occasions in which we allow a large no. of strangers to invade our personal and/or intimate zones. Those are the only kinds of occasions in which we voluntarily come closer with a single goal in our minds. The long waiting queues or a crowd gathered on railway platforms, at music shows or sport matches are few examples of same.

Related Articles:

1) Cabin of chief 2) Making true friends 3) Positive Body Language 4) Secret of Metropolitan nervousness 5) Elevator Etiquette 6) Context 7) Clusters 8) Congruence 9) Context 10) Micro Expressions 11) Para Language 12) Postures 13) Hand Gestures 14) Challenges 15) Interpretation 16) Baseline 17) Perceptual Bias 18) Inside Interrogation Room 19) Basic Bodily Clues