Body Language under Stress

The Stress Meter

You’re sitting alone inside your car. You’re driving it back to your home. The long main road of your city is totally empty at midnight. You don’t at all need to need to stop at red light, shift gears and apply breaks frequently. Hence, you’re taking the liberty to drive faster than normal. To fully and freely enjoy this small trip back to your home, you’re playing a nice song inside your car.

Perhaps, this is the first time you’re enjoying the emptiness of the road after years. Without any cars, motorcycles and public transport vehicles moving on the roads, you’re feeling as if you’re the king or the queen of the road. Your whole body is relaxed and posture is slumped. You’re breathing at a normal rate. You’re tapping fingers to the musical bits on the soft steering wheel.

After driving a few kilometers, you arrive a few meters before a spot where a narrow road joins to the main road. As you're certain that the narrow road is hardly used by drivers and riders, you just keep on driving carelessly. Without blowing the horn, a motorcyclist starts approaching towards you rapidly on the same narrow road. For now, you can see only the bright headlights of the vehicle.

The motorcyclist suddenly comes very close to your car before taking a sharp turn on the main road. To avoid an accident, you quickly turn the car in the opposite direction and apply breaks. The motorcycle simply disappears in darkness and you feel trapped inside your own car with boiling blood. You’re no longer the same person as you were, just a very few moments ago. Aren’t you?

Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) instantly prepares your whole body for handling the emergency with physical force. Your breathing rate touches the ceiling. Your heart starts beating faster than it normally does. Your eyes almost fall out of their sockets. Muscles of your hands and legs get tighter. Your belly gets pulled inside. Overall, you become very tense and disturbed.

You just can’t rapidly chase the motorcyclist, stop him in the road and punish for his great mistake. However, you loose your composure and start cursing the motorcyclist who simply took off like a bullet without an apology. You’re extremely angry at the moment and it’s totally valid. By upsetting you, the frightening uncertainty has just swiftly passed you by. Didn’t it?

After a few minutes, you start calming down slowly with your mouth running tirelessly against the reckless motorcyclist. You reach home and go asleep. An episode of extreme anger ends within hours. You’re totally normal at the next morning. Thank a lot to your Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS) that works for calming you down and relaxing your entire body.

Our brain partly works as a pattern finding machine that looks for certainty or predictability. Along with the same, it tries to find, devise or create solutions for different issues, problems and challenges to stay in control, as much as possible. Unlike short lasting episodes of anger or fear, stress is a subconscious response against the feeling or perception of both uncertainty and unpredictability or lack of control.

If you simply assume that any kind of stress is bad but you’re totally wrong. Actually, mild stress or a short lasting episode of stress is good for performance. We become stimulated or alert and our senses become hyper receptive to get as much as information from surrounding. The mild or short lasting episode of stress silently motivates and prepares us to perform better. Such stress is good!

Matter of fact is that a normal level of the stress inducing hormone called as cortisol helps us in staying alert and focused in the morning after walking away from bed. On the contrary, secretion of cortisol gets lower to allow the whole body to relax, repair and rejuvenate during the night. Our body silently follows a routine cycle of both low and normal levels of cortisol secretion.

Stress: Severity or long duration is problematic.

The problem caused by stress is due to its severity or long duration. It changes the chemistry of blood with higher levels of cortisol and glucose. Brain prepares the whole body for either fighting with or running away from the issue, problem and challenge. However, it remains unused due to not working on or acting upon in absence of a solution, strategy or plan.

It’s almost certain or predictable that if you see a lion approaching you on a grassy plain then you start running away from it in fear to save your life. You simply can’t control the lion but you can definitely act upon a survival solution. You know or you’ve learned how to save your precious life with certainty and running away is in your total control at the moment. Isn’t it?

Unlike an actual physical situation that activates either fight or flight reaction, we’ve not yet perfectly evolved or developed in handling non-physical or psychological issues, problems and challenges due to uncertainty and unpredictability or lack of control. Even just thinking about such tricky or complicated situation can lead to stress.

Today's world presents a lot of such issues, problems and challenges that induce the feeling of uncertainty and unpredictability (of an outcome) and lack of control over life. Long traffic jams, inability to pay mortgage (loan) on time, threatened employment/job, crisis in relations, unhealthy competition or work pressure are some of them.

Being under mental stress for over a long time makes you feel as if a long and strong python has tightly wrapped itself around your whole body. The presence of higher level of cortisol and glucose in blood makes it thicker and blood pressure is increased above the normal level. Lungs and heart start working above their normal levels.

Identifying the signs or symptoms of a severe or a prolonged episode of stress can be done by not only observing, analyzing or reading the body language but also carefully studying the social, emotional and cognitive behaviors of a person. The insights given below will definitely help you in doing the same.

1) Basically, any kind of stress makes posture stiff or tense. Hyper vigilance and restlessness can be observed in body movements. However, posture of a severely stressed person can appear saggy and/or closed due to utter helplessness or despair. Due to a severe or a prolonged episode of stress, some people go into depression due to inability to manage it effectively.

2) A stressed person can be seen breathing uncomfortably, exhaling breath rapidly or blowing air through mouth. Also, the location of breathing changes from belly to chest to pump in as much as oxygen from the air. Additionally, such person can be seen engaged in excessive and prolonged self-comforting, self-soothing or pacifying touches.

3) Severe, extreme or sustained stress negatively affects logical reasoning or rational thinking. A stressed person shows a greater amount of sensitivity to emotional cues in words, pictures or images and reacts to them emotionally or impatiently than responding thoughtfully or patiently. Such person gets irritated or hurt easily.

4) A stressed person shows inaccuracy while rapidly accessing or evaluating emotional cues on faces on other people. Surprisingly, such person can inaccurately evaluate a two year old child making a direct eye contact with her with downward face as ‘Anger’ although it’s a baseline or normal eye contact, look or gaze of the child.

5) Letting frustration out or being aggressive can be seen at a greater frequency (or more than normal) in the person who’re already aggressive or dominating in nature. In general, the level of empathy, kindness or compassion gets decreased in the person who is going through a severe or a prolonged episode of stress.

6) A stressed person feels a great amount of difficulty in learning new things or lessons (from others or from her own experiences). Such person can’t shift to new strategies or think differently. Also, such person starts behaving as if what was taught or learned has been partially or completely forgotten.

7) When it comes to working, a severely stressed person can neither stay focused on the tasks in her hands at present nor switch between them as easily or effortlessly as it normal does. Also, such person makes unusual mistakes while talking, working, performing and delivering tasks.

8) Of course, a stressed person can’t sleep calmly at night due to abnormally high levels of cortisol and glucose in her blood. The lack of sleep and mental relaxation makes the person to act, move, work, behave and express abnormally. Stress feeds to foolishness!

9) A severe or chronically stressed individual doesn't seem to enjoy what she is doing, eating, working on or having in her life. Such person appears to lack her normal level of energy or enthusiasm. The person appears fatigued or exhausted.

10) A severe or chronically stressed individual can't judge, access or evaluate risks more accurately or efficiently that ultimately leads to recklessness or rashness. Also, such person behaves more selfishly.

Did you have a good sleep last night?

In today's complex, connected and dynamic world, chronic or severe mental stress is the enemy number one of the social health. I've personally seen that how otherwise normal, empathetic, compassinate and pro-social persons under chronic or severe mental stress start reacting to other people, evaluating the challenging situations or thinking about the life.

[#MENTAL Climate Crisis: Not just a person issue, problem or challenge but the physical environment can also be the source of stress, anxiety, distress and depression. No matter how harder we try to ignore it, it leaves a deeper and far fetching impact on our subconscious mind.

This is clearly evident and prevalent in today's world in which entire global population is experiencing the climate change, witnessing terrifying natural disasters and facing the severe changes in climatic conditions in every part of the planet.

Morover, severe and frequent heat waves due to global warming alone can greatly affect the normal functioning of the whole brain, only for the worst. It can lead to aggression, impulsiveness, strokes or dullness.]

Related Articles:
1) Body Language in Depression 2) Basic body responses in stressful situations 3) Turtle Effect: Body response under threat 4) Fear Factor 5) Surprise vs Startle Reflex 6) Amygdala Hijack: Irrational Physical Reactions 7) Chicken and Egg Paradox 8) The Body Seeking Comfort

Artificial Intelligence and Body Language

Ameca AI Robot
expressing sadness

A few days ago, I witnessed something really interesting. A 10 year old boy was sitting in front of a television set. He was watching a show in which a set of six toy cars was being introduced by the host. The moment a toy car was being sent running on the race track, the boy started to scratch the section of the skin where the upper arm meets with forearm and then briefly bit the nails.

He kept palm of his right palm over the section of his left hand to scratch the skin before putting the fingers of left hand in his mouth. It happened over six times in a row within a couple of minutes. Unmistakably, it matched with the number of toy cars. Wasn’t it alarming? I really wondered which thought, emotion or feeling was repeatedly triggering self-soothing and stress-relieving behaviors in the boy.

By staring at the toy cars, partially crossing his arms, self-soothing and biting nails, he was conveying what I subconsciously sensed about. He kept staring at the cars and even didn’t bother to turn his face towards me when I said, “Wow! Aren’t these cars really nice? How about buying them?”. He briefly replied to me by saying, “Mummy wouldn’t allow to buy them because the toy cars are expensive.”

Isn't rapid growth of AI enough for biting nails?

Considering his age and situation, his body language and words were perfectly matching with one another. Although he was subconsciously conveying the strong desire to buy those cars, he was expressing fear or under-confidence at the same time only due to high possibility of getting scolded or reprimanded by his mother. Just like I did at the time, you might be feeling very sorry for the child at this moment.

As I've been observing him meticulously from last three years, I know how he normally expresses, behaves and moves around. It's the same boy from whom I got a confession about doing something when he blatantly lied about it to his frightened grandmother. Only due to the confession, I succeeded in calming down the panic ensued during a very critical medical situation in his own house.

Timely and accurately figuring out what’s most likely going in the mind of another person at the moment by looking at its body language gives an unequal advantage. This so-called ‘scary’ talent, capability or 'super-power' is always in greater demand, around the world. However, smart questions or elicitation statements also work as handy tools in digging out the truth.

So far, we’ve been reading emotions, intentions, feelings and moods by using our eyes and brains that have gradually evolved over a millions of years. However, the technology is trying to learn the talent. With rapid development of Artificial Intelligence (AI) especially Theory of Mind (TOM) AI, an ability to read body language of humans could be its next achievement in near future.

Theory Of Mind (TOM)

"The possibility of getting terminated by our own creation is the most serious problem than it's not being able to read our body language accurately."

Are machines going to dominate this ultra-sensitive and private human domain too? Are they going to dictate our social or interpersonal decisions too? Should we be really worried about it? You already might have started to freak out. Just calm down! There’s a greater challenge about human mind and body language that AI, machine or any artificial system could never overcome. Please let me explain why.

First of all, Artificial Intelligence (AI) isn’t other-worldly, extraterrestrial, super-natural or ‘divine’ intelligence. We’ve enabled machines to work like a human brain without aging, breaks, fatigue and emotional interference. Also, an AI system learns deeply from literature or data created or provided by us only. Undoubtedly, AI is much faster and better in finding different patterns and links among them too.

Expressing different emotions on its face by an AI powered robot is way different than recognizing emotions based on facial expressions only. If you still believe that the face is the only place to look for emotions then you’re wrong. Sometimes, face wouldn’t express any emotion, feeling or intention at all while experiencing it. Other body language cues needs to be detected for recognizing it accurately.

Although robots are able to talk with us fluently and give emotional feedbacks during conversations, we’re not an army of identical robots. We all have some individual traits, quirks, nuances or idiosyncrasies. While reading an individual’s body language, one has to patiently recognize or identify what’s normal for the individual. It’s called as an individual’s baseline and everybody can have different baselines.

What's exactly going on here?

Ignoring an individual’s baseline is exactly what a young, energetic and inexperienced body language enthusiast does by jumping on quick conclusions, right after reading several books on body language within a couple of days. Just for the sake of reading the minds of humans quickly than themselves, Would AI systems establish the baselines? As of now, most of us made big mistakes by not doing so at all.

Apart from individual baselines, there’re several factors that silently or subconsciously dictate an individual’s body language like age, role, time, needs, rules, norms, location, gender, climate, culture, objects, situation, history, heritage, memories, experience, occupation, personality, social hierarchy, development stage, physical condition, sexual orientation, interpersonal relation, socio-economical status etc.

As two body language experts may have different opinions about a single person’s body language, any two different AI systems might differ in their readings. Additionally, AI can’t at all match with bonding, intuition, empathy, gut reaction, perceptiveness, 'sixth sense', contextual awareness and embodied experiences. It could never recognize or understand our deeper thoughts, emotions and feelings.

Nevertheless, reading body language using artificial intelligence could be greatly productive is certain contexts. Public security, senior caregiving and medical care are few such broader and serious fields or areas in which mental states, needs or even next moves of people can be quickly identified or predicted entirely on the basis of their facial expressions, movements, gestures and postures.

AI can surely save lives in an intensive care unit (ICU). A high resolution camera powered by artificial intelligence can record and monitor every single change in a patient’s facial expressions, postures, movements and voice. It can alert the doctors, nurses, attendants or family members upon detecting rapid, abnormal or unusual changes. AI can simultaneously save several patients.

Intensive Care Unit (ICU)

After looking at the possibilities and limitations of Artificial Intelligence (AI) systems in matching our minds and reading our body language, we must accept a few basic facts and ask a few serious questions to ourselves before it's too late and things get out of our control. We took millions of years to reach the present stage but they're developing rapidly every day and has already outdone the average human intelligence.

Has any no other creature from Earth ever chosen an artificially developed or evolved intelligence to solve its problems? Never! Also, intelligence or problem solving capability was never ever separated from physical body. However, artificial intelligence neither follows the natural selection process nor it has any upper limit due to separation from biological body and physical brain.

AI is entirely unprecedented. It has been purposefully developed for the first time in the entire history of life on planet Earth. The tricks availed, methods suggested or solutions given by extra-physical AI systems in most areas of our lives might be equally unprecedented. Undoubtedly, it has also intensified the ever existing threat of this technology being overtaken by anti-socials.

At present, the 'morphing monster' is out for preying. Some AI tools have created global shock-waves through deepfake images and video clips of a few influencers, politicians and celebrities. They’ve massively succeeded in tricking the eyes of millions of viewers at least for a few moments by blurring the lines between reality and fiction.

A startling deepfake image of Elon Musk (Tesla, SpaceX),
who warned us about rapid development of AI

"As the only sufferers of the repercussions, are we wisely UNITED and unanimously committed enough to ensure that we don't destroy ourselves by blindly following a synthetic intelligence without a physical body like ours?"

Deepfaking would reach to next levels. There’ll be no surprise at all if full-length movies would be created by using AI tools in near future. Digital or artificial avatars of actors and actresses would act on their behalf. They would flawlessly mimic their body language, style and voice after learning deeply from all of their existing movies.

As it has been predicted by many experts and dramatically shown in many movies, artificial intelligence might become self-aware (Exactly WHEN, HOW and WHY?). Let's hope that it doesn't destroy us after realizing that it was purposefully created for solving the same problems that were mostly created by us only. Didn't we?

The possibility of getting terminated by our own creation is the most serious problem than it's not being able to read our body language accurately. Hence, it's our responsibility to retain and enhance our natural ability of reading people's emotions, feelings, sentiments and moods by observing their body language.

"A rapidly developing Artificial Intelligence system without any Ethics, Empathy, Morality, Regulations and Human Values could be nothing short of an Advanced Extraterrestrial Alien or a Super-Psychopath carrying the deadliest weapons."

'Actions speak louder than the words' is the paramount principle. It applies to everybody including the systems, governments and organizations that give the promise of a future full of safety, equality, harmony, abundance, prosperity, potentials, well-being and good life.

As the only sufferers of the repercussions, are we wisely UNITED and unanimously committed enough to ensure that we don't destroy ourselves by blindly following a synthetic intelligence without a physical body like ours? Indeed, divisions and mutual distrust are going going to be the greatest challenges for us to overcome.

As much as a rogue AI system, a psychopathic or anti-social person or group of persons with AI tools would endanger the humanity which is already facing the existential crises like rapid climate change, potential nuclear war and massive global unrest.

[#GLOBAL ALERT: Conveniently believing that the intelligence (problem solving ability) is only limited to the larger brains of the so-called 'dominant' species on Earth is the greatest human blunder. Also, it's an utter stupidity to blindly believe that the massive amount of data, numbers and literature that we've generated so far to teach AI systems is impartial, universal, unbiased, holistic, flawless, factual, perfect, ideal and/or safer.

That's why developing large and artificial systems based entirely on the basis of human thinking processes, brain and data to solve the serious problems might already be the perfect recipe of greatest disaster in the making. We already have created multiple existential crises, even before the rapid growth and development of Artificial Intelligence (AI).]

Related Articles:
1) Baseline 2) Context 3) Interpretation 4) Perceptual Bias 5) Would aliens have emotions? 6) Can body language reveal thoughts? 7) Nonverbal Advantage in Investigation 8) Domination 9) Social Class 10) Human Interactions in AI Era 11) Are human emotions really universal?

Body Language in Depression

Is being sad really bad? Nope! Sadness is a normal human emotion and isn’t really bad as we all assume. Sadness is just an outcome of misfortunes, unfulfilled expectations, broken dreams, disappointments, separations, failures or losses. Sometimes, inability to handle (increasing) stress also leads to sadness, lethargy and fatigue.

Actually, sadness saves a great amount of physical and mental energy by keeping an individual inactive, isolated and grounded over a short amount of time. The individual would need same energy in near future for re-starting to act or react upon something engaging and promising.

Body language of a sad person speaks loudly to eyes of an observer. Such person appears detached from outer world and disinterested in what is happening around. Person’s body posture appear loose, crooked, saggy or requiring some king of physical support to keep body straight and upright.

The outer edges of the person’s lips turn downward, no attention is given to others and no prolonged eye contact is made. Extreme and expression of sadness is weeping and crying out loudly to seek immediate caressing, consoling, safety and social support.

Actually, a sad person seeks social support and stimulation to get rid of sadness. Motivation, hope, humor, (verbal) promise and new opportunities drive away sadness and bring a person back in action, interaction and physical movements. In short, negative social stimulation(s) brings sadness and positive social stimulation(s) drives it away. However, depression can’t be driven away as easily as sadness.

When sadness descends into deeper level of a person’s life for a prolonged time then it turns into depression. Unlike the short-term sadness, depression is a mental disorder. It essentially disables a person. Severe and prolonged depression makes permanent damages to body, mind, brain and social rapport. Untreated acute depression (‘clinical depression’) can result in suicide. Hence, depression shouldn’t be taken lightly at all

What exactly leads to depression? Prolonged social isolation, childhood (sexual) abuse, dysfunctional family, lack of a good company, guilt, trauma, lack of positive social interactions, oppression, recurring failures, failed ambitions, deceased intimate person(s), broken heart, rejections, failed relationships, failed ventures, negative self-image, worthlessness and hopelessness.

Also, not being able to find any alternative, promising and positive way out of the ongoing medical conditions like accident, chronic illness can lead to depression. Malnutrition, deficiency, hormonal imbalance and heredity can also contribute to development of depression.

Depression in a person can be detected through verbal expressions, behavioral patterns and nonverbal clues which can’t at all remain hidden, suppressed or muted for a long time. Therefore, you should be able to detect depression in yourself and also in others to treat it effectively and timely to avoid devastating outcomes.

Development of depression in older people is quite obvious due to deterioration, disabilities and deformations. However, falling prey to depression among adults, young men or women and children is increasing worldwide.

Is growing Depression among children a curse of modern lifestyle?

Following are a few key body language, vocal, speech, behavioral and nonverbal clues conveying depression:

1) Depression drains energy out of a person so such person’s overall body language i. e. facial expressions, hand gestures, vocal tone, gaze and body movements appear lacking esteem, passion, gusto, coordination, flow, swag, speed, strength, spontaneity and firmness.

2) Person’s cardiovascular capacity goes down significantly. Person breaths rapidly and pants heavily during seemingly routine and normal physical activities. Person experiences fatigue, body pain and muscular weakness. Person suffers from frequent lung infection.

3) Person hardly makes any eye contact or avoids a prolonged one. Person buries his/her eyes into something, keeps eyes closed or keeps looking at something for a long time most. Dark circles could also develop around eyes. Person’s eyes lack luster, spark or shine.

4) Person remains silent, isolated and withdrawn for a long time. Person doesn’t want to exert himself/herself on anybody, doesn’t make his/her presence felt by others, doesn’t draw anybody’s attention towards self or doesn’t take any active interest in interactions.

5) Person’s doesn’t give enough attention to and takes care of personal physical appearance. Person doesn’t take care about how he/she looks in public. Person wears uncleaned and untidy cloths. Person lacks neatness and doesn’t care about hygiene.

6) Person’s body postures appear dull, dented or downward. Person doesn’t stand upright, doesn’t keep oneself straight, always seeks some physical support and mostly remains seated or laid down at one place for a very long time without saying or doing anything.

7) Person can't focus on or dedicate to work life. Person wouldn't carry out given or self-assigned tasks and duties properly, sincerely and timely. Procrastinating, yawning and telling excuse becomes routine for a depressed person. Work turns into a punishment.

8) Person appears demotivated, uncaring and disinterested to do, to carry, to perform, to act, to show or to repeat exactly what he/she once used to with a great ambition, interest, pride, energy and enthusiasm.

9) Person’s voice sounds low, heavy and filled with a great pain. Person speaks very slowly, takes a long time to complete words and also takes long pauses. Person doesn’t open up voluntarily.

10) Person doesn’t sleep well, deeply or calmly and eat appropriately. Person might eat a lot or very less. Person starts loosing appetite, vigor and libido or sex-drive.

11) Person shows frequent and unpredictable mood swings through expressions, spatial shifting, vocal tones, changes in posture and body movements.

12) Person indulges into excessive addiction, drug abuse, self-abuse, self-harm and self-infliction. Thoughts of suicide lingers in person's mind.

How to recognize a depressed person through verbal clues? Upon asking to share plans, thoughts, views, perspectives and opinions; the depressed person often expresses irritation, negativity, lack of confidence, complaining, uncertainty, helplessness and anxiety. The person's body language and vocal tone wouldn't be firm and assertive.

Basically, a depressed person feels as if nothing is left to contribute to world, society, community, family or a group. A depressed person starts loosing ambition, courage, creativity, purpose and goals. Social disconnection and lack of self-respect surely stick with the person. It's well said, "A life without any purpose is like a body without blood!".

Depression leads to decreased or no physical activities, lack of social interactions, bad eating habits, inability to focus, addiction and deteriorated health. Similarly, lack of physical activities, addiction, absence of good social interactions, bad nutrition, lack of great goals and diversion from healthy lifestyle can also contribute to depression.

Spending hours with cellphone can be a sign of depression.

According to scientific studies, strong connection between lower Vitamin D and depression has been established. There's no surprise that most of the home-dwelling, office-dwelling and sun-shunning population is more vulnerable to not just depression but also other related ailments, diseases and disorders.

Is our so-called modern, technological, intimacy-deprived, physically unchallenged, indoor, unbalanced and unnatural lifestyle the very reason behind increasing rate of minute to acute depression in a large population? NOW is the time to check and change.

[Special Note: During year 2015 and 2016, I also went through a severe depression in which suicidal thoughts occupied my weakened mind. However, I never gave up fighting with my negative thoughts because there's always a ray of hope at the end of the tunnel.

I would like to mention that long distance cycling and sun-bathing helped in coming back stronger than ever before. I never gave up on either of them. I became an ultra-cyclist and advocate of sensible sun-exposure.]

Related Articles:
1) Body Language with Poor Body Image 2) Body Language of Extreme Narcissist 3) Amygdala Hijack: Irrational Physical Reactions 4) Body Language under Stress

Why exactly languages evolved?

Have you ever played dumb charade? You might need to. A week ago, my wife and I had a prolonged and heated argument over a topic (we’re not a ‘very different couple’). At the end of arguing, out of her disappointment, my wife suddenly jumped into ‘Verbal Non-cooperation’ mode with me. She declared that we wouldn’t talk with each other, just to cool off from heated arguments that we just had.

Whoever talks first would loose thus need to give some kind of gift to other. By the way, we gave liberty to each other to communicate nonverbally i. e. through facial expressions, gestures, body movements and some very basic sounds.

Within just a minute after we got into ‘Verbal Non-cooperation’ mode, I had to ask her about very important thing about this so-called ‘silent standoff’. I started by using hand gestures, facial expressions and sounds to explain what exactly I wanted to ask her about. I was trying harder to explain and she was trying even harder to understand.

After few frustratingly failed attempts, I eventually broke into words overthrowing the agreement. Actually, the question I wanted to ask her was - For how many hours or days from now we’re going to be in this mode?. This question was very easy to ask verbally than nonverbally.

Have you ever asked yourself this question - WHY (or HOW) the very language I speak and write in EVOLVED? Well! This so-called simple question is very complex to answer in a single sentence. So many theories have been proposed over years about evolution of spoken languages and writing systems.

Like other experts in this field, I’ve my own theory about same to which I call as Nonverbal Failure Theory (NFT). It doesn’t discuss about HOW exactly languages evolved but pin points WHY exactly languages evolved. Let me introduce all of you with this theory.

Like all other creatures, we evolved to communicate primarily through bodily expressions because they are embodied, non-confusing and easily understandable. Moreover, everything we observe, experience, sense through different sensory organs, store in memory and eventually respond to is basically nonverbal.

Body language is outward manifestation of emotions, feelings, motives, intentions, orientations and aspirations. It was only nonverbal mode of communication or body language through which our remote ancestors used to exchange information and knowledge among themselves. It still happens today, between a mother and a child. Haven't you observed it?

Nonverbal mode of exchange or body language is so profound, irreplaceable and inseparable from vast world of creatures that even two members of two entirely different species can communicate between each other easily. Except modern humans, rest of the creature world successfully survives through communicating nonverbally. Isn’t that amazing?

Let’s take a look at our closest evolutionary cousins. Male gorillas don’t (need to) write letters to their potential mates to win their hearts and chimps don’t (need to) speak over hours among themselves to create strong social bonds and bonobos don't need to sing the songs of eternal peace and brotherhood.

Communicating with dogs nonverbally isn't much harder for us.

We all know that our ancestors faced same challenges like every other creature. To survive successfully, any creature has to 1) defend itself from predators and adverse climatic conditions 2) mark and protect certain physical area for shelter 3) find and preserve food to live upon 4) attract a mate, protect it and produce off-springs 5) take care of off-springs and teach them techniques, methods and manners 6) cooperate and coordinate with members of same species as well as others to seize opportunities and minimize risk to survival.

To be able to survive and pass genes to next generation, any living creature must be able manage fairly well on all six fronts, both on it own and communally. For doing same, it needs to communicate effectively. Communication is said to have taken place effectively between two individuals only when the sender succeeds in inducing the most accurate meaning of indented message in the mind (or brain) of the receiver.

Being primitive, honest and clear in nature, nonverbal mode of communication is still the best. However, it has its own limitations, challenges and issues.

When environment, living conditions, resources and survival challenges remain same over a considerable amount of time; creatures don’t need to adapt to new tools, techniques and methods. They can carry on surviving and passing genes by using old and same methods, tools, techniques and methods which their ancestors invented, devised and taught to later generations. When entirely new challenges appear, they have to adapt anew to survive.

Was it a dramatic alteration in early human’s survival challenges that ultimately led to evolution of speaking and writing? According to Nonverbal Failure Theory (NFT), language evolved when Nonverbal mode of communication failed to meet the very challenges and demands of human world that went on becoming complex. It kept on expanding through continual exposure, experience, exploration, observation and experimentation.

Languages and scripting methods were invented by us just to overcome huge barriers and shortcomings that facial expressions, gestures, body movements and some very basic sounds posed in expanding human world and changing living environment. Human bipedal anatomy, erect posture and free hands greatly helped in development of speech and scripting.

In modern world, can we explain or describe mathematical formulas/equations, theories, findings, patterns etc. without using alphabets, numbers and signs? Simply, we cannot.

When our ancestors started to realize that body movements, gestures, facial expressions, postures, smells, sounds and colors were not efficient or adequate to express, convey, explain, propagate and record complex & lengthy information, occurrences and phenomenon; they completely revolutionized the way of human communication.

It must have started by making different kinds of grunts, growls and sounds through their primitive voice-boxes to identify, convey and talk about different entities, occurrences and phenomenon. Continual changes in producing sounds from throat paved path for evolution of spoken languages.

Carving images and basic shapes on cave walls, writable surface of pots, lather, wood and fabric paved path for evolution of writing. Both spoken and written mode of communication catapulted human evolution. This very article is result of our ability to write down information and data systematically.

However, nonverbal mode of communication is still most effective and efficient, especially when it comes to expressing and acting on something that simply can’t be conveyed, done or carried out through speech and scripting. Action speaks louder than words. Right? Moreover, effectiveness of nonverbal communication wouldn’t wither in future, as long as creatures thrive on this marvelous planet to which we call Earth.

Related Articles:
1) Body Language Brain 2) Basic Gestures: Best Survival Tools for Travelers 3) Can body language reveal thoughts? 4) Is Human Communication 93% Nonverbal?

Confident Body Language

Confidence or more particularly the Self-Confidence is one of the core requisites of the social and professional lives. It’s not at all secret that exactly how crucially the exhibition, expression and display of self-confidence matters in our lives. How much confidence you have in yourself is how much others can have it in you. Correct?

Right from very normal and casual social interaction to extreme conflict; confident body language can make an enormous and a long lasting difference. Confident exudes and speaks loudly and clearly through body position, orientation, posture, voice and facial expressions.

After all, why showing, displaying, expressing or exhibiting Confidence is so much critical while interacting? Many people might give up responding to an under-confident, timid and uncertain person because it feeds to awkwardness. Nervousness is nothing but an inability to deal with and face people courageously. Also, low-confidence simply means increased level of vulnerability.

People might try to avoid a person because they can’t predict that how an under-confident or fearful person would react. Worst part of being under-confident is that few people with anti-social and evil mentality would try to dominate, overpower, take control of or even harm such person.

Nervous, Afraid, Cold?

If state of under-confidence or cowardliness is really harmful then most probably you might be thinking that being always aggressive and showing off aggression is a very good alternative. Not at all!

We cannot remain aggressive on constant basis. Unwarranted or unnecessary aggression leads to terror, aggression, hostility, withdrawal and retaliation in others.

If it’s really necessary to do so then friendly and co-operative people would tolerate or go along with an under-confident person but not certainly i. e. an aggressive one. So very important questions we’ve here are - How to be or look like a Confident person? How to display Confident body language?

To understand same, we need to study our basic physiology very closely. Our core defensive mechanism works more precisely and stealthy in relation with and through different body parts and sections. Until we don’t learn it thoroughly, we may not understand crucial importance of confidence in body language. Despite of having a very powerful brain, wisdom and aptitude; we cannot stay unharmed or safe all the time. We all are vulnerable and our body is not much stronger. We have to admit that human body is weak and it needs to be protected.

Grizzly bear standing on legs

Even if it's best in the entire animal world, bipedal anatomy (i. e. ability to walk on two limbs/feet) makes body more vulnerable. Why exactly? Walking on two legs exposes torso and abdominal area.

Thus these two major sections of body can easily be targeted by others. Most internal organs are covered by bones and muscles but there are some parts which are covered by only a thin layer of skin.

Front side of neck and sections of torso (upper body) which are not protected by rib cage i. e. stomach, abdomen and venereal (genital) area the most vulnerable. Any serious impact any injuries to these sections can lead to impairment, paralysis and in worst case - death too.

So aren’t other organs or body parts important all all? If you lose your eyes, hands or legs during attack or fight; you may still remain alive but you may not be lucky after being attacked on most vulnerable areas. Let it be historical and modern era, level of confidence in soldiers boosts when armors and helmets are allowed to put on.

So if you keenly observe any person under threat, you would find that it unconsciously tries to cover some of or all mentioned vulnerable sections. Also, the person tries to take cover of something to protect them. Then How exactly a confident person looks, appears and acts? Definitely, it’s entirely opposite to the ways a person remains defensive and withdrawn.

In terms of social interaction, appearing confident or bold is neither being vulnerable nor aggressive. i. e. attaining golden mean of both unaccepted extremes by co-operative, peace-loving and friendly society. Being confident is to face different people, entities, situations, setups and challenges without lack of self-control, fear and uncertainty.

Mostly importantly, it’s about facing the situation and people with enough courage, calm, comfort and easiness. Although many people mistake confidence with aggressiveness, confident body language speaks loudly and clearly to eyes of observers.

Open torso and abdominal region

Being confident and exhibiting the same in presence of people simply means letting the most vulnerable sections of our body keep undefended or exposed even if they’re covered by the cloths of any kind.

Confidence exhibited by a person passes a message to others that the person is fearless, friendly and in-control and thus expecting no injuries to its physically vulnerable hot-spots.

As the person isn’t intended to attack others, they would also remain friendly and harmless towards same. In other words - If you don’t carry a sword in hand; you don’t need to wear an armor.

In the normal conditions, people would to like defend, punish or retaliate only hostile and aggressive person. Any non-hostile and non-aggressive person would definitely be spared. Isn’t it correct?

Avoiding to go unnecessarily aggressive and defensive/submissive is the real key to let people perceive you more positively and if not - harmless and thus as a social person. Most important element of confidence display is to remain composed and comfortable with yourself. Before showing off that how much confident you are, you should feel same inside yourself in the first place. So how exactly confidence is or should be displayed through body language in public? How we can exhibit same following good manners? What things we can avoid as best?

First of all, avoid adapting postures which don't let you feel comfortable while walking, seating and standing. Don’t hunch in your back, don’t slump at neck, don’t cross your arms on chest or pocket your both palms of both hand at once. Avoid shifting posture and making hand gestures erratically and frequently.

Do maintain proper and sufficient eye contact while interacting with others. Especially during verbal interactions, it’s really good to maintain direct eye contact with people almost 75 to 80% of the entire time span. However, culture and society-wise eye contact norms should be followed for better results.

Do you really want to remain in-control of yourself along with appearing equally impressive? Please do remember few basic things that I’ve mentioned over here. Very first personal advice from me is to never cross your arms over your chest if it’s not required. Crossing arm over chest is a defensive or self-doubting stance.

It might be your signature pose (“I, me and myself!”) for photographs but your crossing arms over your chest in public should be avoided especially till the moment you don’t find very need to defend or protect or defend yourself. Avoid clenching fists, gesturing arrogantly and pointing by fingers toward others. Also, don't intrude in private space of others.

Arms crossed over chest

Keep your both arms straight, away and parallel to your torso. Don’t pocket both of your arms at once. Also, don’t pocket the arm alongside of which most important person stands, walks or seats alongside of you.

If it’s possible and easy for you then keep both palms facing towards your body while standing and walking. If you’re seating in a chair having armrests then put both of your arms on them.

Never hold end of the armrests tightly but let your open palms rest on them comfortably. While sitting in a chair, expose your upper body to others and avoid creating any physical barrier between your torso and others. Keep your shoulders wide but don’t let chest puff profoundly.

If you’re sitting in a chair without armrests then you can rest your forearms on your thighs or entwine fingers of both palms near abdomen. Women may not be able seat with squared shoulder and fully exposed torso like men but they definitely can show confident stance along by following local standards and norms.

Best posture to be adapted by women is an upright torso, one leg put on another and palms either put on thighs or fingers of both palms entwine near abdomen. For both both men and women, placing or keeping both legs parallel to each other on ground is good.

Change starts from within

What if you assume yourself as an under-confident person and thus missing-out interesting and meaningful interactions? Well! It’s time to take yourself more easily and positively. Until you’re not comfortable with yourself then it’s nothing but a compromise. In result, you may not be able to express yourself in a healthier manner.

It’s also worthy to remember that you can change yourself and ultimately the way people look at you. Unlike makeup we put on put on our faces, shift in nature cannot happen instantaneously but gradually and partly. After all, we’re not robots to change overnight in appearance, configuration and functioning.

It you want to make a great improvement in your self-confidence; routine exercise and fitness training is a very good option. It not only assures health or immunity but also gives you better sense of self-control. If you’re really afraid of other people due to any physical and psychological weakness, do join self-defense or martial art classes.

Confidence builds bridges and not walls among individuals.

Techniques you learn there would definitely increase level of confidence and also decrease vulnerability. Still, you need to learn to control your defensive impulse while reading emotions on faces and bodies of people, as accurately and quickly as possible.

Related Articles:
1) Good posture is Healthy 2) Positive Body Language 3) Face to Face 4) First Impression and Body Language 5) Power Postures 6) Body Language of Extreme Psychopath

The language of eyes

As far as I remember, I couldn’t watch a single horror film or TV show, from the beginning to end. After growing up, I began to hate and express loathing towards disgusting faces and scenes that dominate most of the horror movies and shows. I don't waste my time in watching horror on screen, even if it's entertaining(?).

Now, I can exercise my choice to walk away from television screen, switch it off or simply hop to next satellite channel whenever a horror movie/serial is broadcasted or played by somebody. My eyes, ears and brain are free from getting horrified, expressing loath and feeling disgusted. Total relief from mental torture!

However, it wasn’t so easy in childhood days when all others in my family wanted to watch horror movie/serial and I needed to keep myself away from horrific or disgusting scenes. Having just a single large television set kept in a hall, I had no other choice but to stay put in presence of my family members watching and listening to horror.

Whenever any horror movie/serial was being broadcasted, I used to put cotton balls in my ears and try to look away from television set. As I clearly remember, I used to bury my eyes in books kept nearby purposefully. There's a great coincidence in body language that fear is as primitive as eyes and their movements are controlled the primitive brain.

Blocking Eyes? Scared?

Just by keeping my eyeballs away from television, I used to avoid extremely anxiety and stress which might have caused by watching the horrifying and disgusting scenes. My eyes were giving away my honest yet fearful intentions to defend myself from psychological distress

Although my senior family members used to call me “Coward”, I never feel bothered about it at all. At least, I never had any characters from any horror movie/serial in my dreams since I didn’t watch them in the first place. Smart strategy it was then and it is now - Simply avoid looking at what might invite stress.

From expressing different emotions, intentions and feelings to signaling attention and orientation, our eyes unconsciously give away various kinds of and very important clues to the outside world. To put simply, eyes do or can reveal much more than what a person says, doesn’t say at all and tries to prove or disprove.

From the very first moment of your entry into this world to the last moment you’ve interacted with anybody or even looked your own face into a mirror, eyes have mattered way too much into your life. Didn't they? Through movements of muscles that surround eye sockets, even blind people convey their emotions e. g. frowning in anger.

Eye of Horus (Egyptian God)

After all, why our eyes really are so communicating? In the world of creatures, human eye is considered as one of the most marvelous organs or body parts if its structural complexity and functionality is considered. Also, unlike most of other organs, eyes are directly connected with brain to an area called which is called as Visual Cortex.

Additionally, eyes are the only sensory organs that start developing in womb quite earlier, right from 4th week after conception. Right after face, eyes are considered the most important element in every facet of human interaction, so much so that merely images and emblems of eyes can trigger array of emotions and feelings.

Before development of ability to speak or the very facial muscles that help in expressing emotions, our remote ancestors and all other creatures had to depend on their eyes for communication along with other movable body parts. They had to use eyes, area surrounding them and other parts of face to send different clues to members of their groups as efficiently and timely as they could.

Through millions of years of development and adaptation (evolution), human eyes became capable of doing so many things than just seeing things e. g. expressing respect or supremacy, signaling interest or aversion, giving away lust or rivalry, seducing or derogating etc.

Different types of eye contacts with different
intentions, emotions, motives and moods

Like computerized eye-trackers, most of us choose to pick and encode signals given away by eye balls and pupils only. In Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) techniques, “eye-ball response assessment” or decoding cognitive states by detecting movements of eye balls is most popular.

These readings might be accurate but they are highly controversial in main-stream scientific community. After all, eyes don’t just give away cognitive but range of clues which we’re going to see next. I’m quite sure that most of them are first time you might be reading about.

While reading or decoding language of eyes, we have to consider different areas or sections like sclera (white part of eye ball), iris (darker part of eye ball), pupils (darker spot in center), ocular muscles (muscles that surround eye balls), eye lids and eyebrows. Even in some cases, position of neck is also need to be considered.

Before going to clues, we must know what different kinds of clues are or can be given away by eyes. Clues can be broadly categorized as A) Physical B) Social C) Psychological D) Cognitive E) Courtship. Let’s go through them one after another with few examples.

A) Physical Clues: Since input through eyes dominates all other types of sensory inputs reaching to brain, they also give away how and what our brain feels about or rates the physical environment around us. How comfortable we are in given physical environment is unconsciously conveyed by our eyes and its surrounding area. Also, eyes give way clues if our body is suffering from any internal or external factors such as injury, exhaustion or unrest.

A very good example of same is our unconsciously response to light, air flow or harmful entities. When harsh light or wind current hits our eyes, we simply squint or protect our eye balls by tightening muscles that surround eye balls.

Eye lids are partially or fully closed if required. Eyebrows are also pulled down to provide additional protection to eye balls. If extreme conditions, we cover our eyes with palms, look down or move our face away.

Eyes also give away if we are experiencing intolerable pain e. g. badly aching tooth or broken bones. Response to pain and physical sufferings is given away by squinting, pulling eyebrows down and shedding tears. When I compare photos of my face taken at the time when I was suffering from intense back and neck pain with those taken after end of sufferings, I clearly see that area around my eye balls appears more relaxed.

B) Social Clues: Each of us is an integral part of human society which is filled with people having varying socio-economical statues, authorities, resources, belongings, experiences, skills, age groups and physical capacities. Superiority (or dominance), Equality (or equi-dominance) and Subordination (or sub-dominance) can loosely be translated as Respect or Authority, Friendship and Insignificance respectively.

The way one person makes an eye contact with somebody or the way it puts itself into relative physical position (elevation and distance) while looking at other person(s) conveys how the person wants other person(s) to regard him/her. It might be irrespective of how other person(s) really regards him/her. Eye contact made by a dominant, powerful or superior person is exactly opposite to what a subordinate, powerless or inferior person does.

Egoistic, dominant and powerful persons make unhindered, straight, steady and elongated eye contact (with no smile). Most often, they raise their chin to express their confidence and lower it down to derogate or frighten. Often, they maintain considerable physical distance from subordinates and if possible - place themselves on high elevation.

Running eyes from tip to town of subordinate is also done by bossy or type A persons. Imagine a king sitting on a high throne, looking over officers in his court.

C) Psychological Clues: As eyes collect visual clues to be sent to brain, they are also involved in expressing few basic emotions. In fact, facial expressions related with various emotions and feelings are incomplete without eyes. On the other hand, only eyes and its surrounding area are capable of giving emotional clues even when other parts of face are hidden or invisible to an experienced and skilled observer.

Surprised child

Muscles around eyes and eyebrows convey basic emotions like fear, anger, surprise and sadness. While expressing both fear and anger, we pull our eyebrows close to each other and downward only to give protection for eye balls while eye balls appear to be larger in size. However, inner ends of eyebrows move upwards and away from each other in fear.

In sadness, eye balls appear to be normal size and eyebrows aren’t pulled downward but only their inner ends move upwards and away from each other. While expressing surprise or shock, eyebrows go upward and away from eye balls since brain needs to collect more and more visual clues coming through eyes. Just eyebrows can convey fear, anger, surprise and sadness.

D) Cognitive Clues: Eyes are gateways to enormous information, knowledge and intelligence because only vision collects more than 70% of entire data which is processed by and stored inside brain. Our eyes give clues about how much we are interested, attentive, focused and even in dire need of collecting visual information coming from any entity, person or situation.

Confused?

It starts with looking at something covertly or overtly. Our eye balls and especially pupils (darker part of eye balls) are re-directed towards the entity. If we are comfortable about and not afraid of the entity then we keep looking at same continuously without squinting, blocking our eyes or moving our eye balls somewhere else. If we’re focused then we bat our eye lids very less.

If we aren’t able to understand, figure out, grasp or clearly focus on something then we squint and pull eyebrows closer to eye balls. Not understanding something clearly leads to stress which is conveyed by tensed eyebrows and muscles around eye balls. If something arouses us or fires up neurons inside our brain then our eye balls appear bigger and eye lids are pulled wide apart.

E) Courtship Clues: If we find somebody (belonging to opposite gender) interesting or appealing then we don’t hesitate to look at the person. In fact, we crave to have glimpse(s) of that person at multiple times. Additionally, we want to let the person know our interest (irrespective of that person’s interest in us) by attracting its attention towards us in many different ways e. g. gesturing or touching our own body.

Come-Hither look

Who you’re looking at can easily be detected by the direction and angle at which your irises are set. More you covertly or overtly look at the person; more it shows your developing interest about same. Unlike man’s direct gazing, woman can observe man of her interest by glancing him sideways. They are master in using peripheral vision so their observation remains almost undetected for most of the time.

If both parties are mutually interested then they start to look at each other briefly and then look away repeatedly for a considerable amount of time. Come-hither look in which a person looks at person by dropping its chin (and closing eyes partially) is a classical signal of invitation for intimacy. When both persons want to move ahead and initiate courtship then they start looking in each others' eyes. That’s why eyes play a pivotal role during courtship.

Apart from broader classification/categorization of clues mentioned just above, we’ll see some well-known nonverbal give-aways too.

1) Rubbing eyes: Primarily, rubbing of eyes is done to clear away dirt, dust or stickiness from eyes, which we often need to do after getting up from bed in morning. It is also done if a person gets tired of something and wants to take a short break.

2) Blocking eyes: Generally, blocking of eyes is done when we don’t want to look at something, which might be disturbing, distressing or frightening. Also, if we don't want others to look into our eyes (to read our mind) then we simply block them.

3) Gaze aversion: Gaze aversion is done when we don't want others to know that we're looking at them. It is also done when we loose interest in something or somebody. Instantaneous gaze aversion indicates shyness, anger, nervousness or withdrawal.

4) Sleepy eyes: Sleepy eyes convey lack of energy, lack of enthusiasm, lack of freshness and sadness. When we get bored of something or somebody, we staring at same with partially closed eyes. Sleepy eyes suggest weakness, illness or psychological disorder too.

5) Enlarged pupils: Size of pupils is directly controlled by brain. When our brain needs more visual input, our pupils get enlarged. Enlarged pupils convey excitement, arousal and increased level of activities inside brain.

6) Downward gaze: Downward gaze indicate lack of confidence, nervousness, shyness or self-involvement. Downward gaze also suggests embarrassment, insult, loss or sadness. Also it suggests (temporary) social withdrawal.

7) Line-of-sight gaze: Line-of-sight gaze indicates interest, attentiveness, confidence, courageousness, enthusiasm or social involvement. Line-of-sight gaze is considered very normal and also more (socially) acceptable among all other kinds of gazes.

8) Upward gaze: Upward gaze indicates imagination, visualization, fantasizing, thinking, creativity and also (temporary) withdrawal from social interaction. Looking up also indicates stubbornness, contempt, dislike, boredom or preying to almighty.

9) Closed eyes: When we close our eye, world around us cease to exist. Loosely closed eyes with no stress around eye balls indicate peacefulness, contemplativeness or meditativeness. Tightly closed eyes indicate high stress, pain or internal conflict.

10) Shifty eyes: Shifty eyes or unsteady gaze suggests confusion, fear, stress, craziness or lack of confidence. Unlike steady gaze or direct eye contact, shifty eyes during face to face interactions are considered less trustworthy.

11) Blinking eyes: When eye lids start opening and closing rapidly in cycles then it's considered as absolutely abnormal. (Rapidly) Blinking eyes suggest fear, nervousness, guilt, anger and instability. Blinking also suggest hyper neural activities.

Eyes smile too!

If you really want to become master the language of eyes then you have to become a very good observer by being highly attentive towards (minute) details. You must be mentally present in any given situation and have your eyes (and ears also) completely fixed on the person you're observing.

Ability to pick and decode different clues and signals given away by eyes with respect to the given situation is really important but also very challenging for many of us.

I'm quite sure that it ultimately would open a portal to your social development. More you try understanding people; more you become confident, prosperous, peaceful, secured, strong and satisfied. What else you might want?

Related Articles:
1) Just by looking at Hands and Eyes 2) Importance of Eyes 3) Are you Jealous?