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November 23, 2013

Body Language of Narcissist

Can you spot a narcissist i. e. a grandiose, self-submerged, entitlement seeking and exploiting individual, just by observing its behavior? Both self-confessed and unidentified narcissists are all around us and we’re likely to face them at almost every location and in different situations in our entire life.

Like every other individual living with and around us in our society, a narcissist individual too makes for living and struggles for survival like all of us. Then what’s so wrong with that kind of individual after all?
"I, Me and Myself!"

Everybody needs to sustain itself through adversities, challenges and dangers which is the fundamental necessity of every living and flourishing creature and not just human beings. One needs to harbor self-love, self-respect and self-worth for same. It gives us confidence, strength and social value.

Only thing is that few of us are extremely self-loving individuals and this turns them into narcissist manipulators. Principally what every highly narcissist individual does most of time is attracting attention of others towards oneself and at some extent - exploit and manipulate others for the same.

They have a definite plan, strategy or mission to get identified in the crowd. They may look very charming, intelligent and tidy by their appearance. At some extent, narcissist men or women standout in being a magnet for members of an apposite gender and especially those with genuine low self-esteem.
"WHO else is there, other than ME?"
Unlike open-ended and “away from once body” gestures, they gesticulate in such way that their palms face their own bodies most of time. They try to accentuate their presence and make maneuvers that saliently convey to others, “Hey, I’m here! Aren’t you looking at me?”. They would invade your space suddenly and remind that you didn’t greet them as per their own expectations.

They would raise their voice to make their presence felt without any hesitation about their contribution to noise pollution. They would put on glossy or gleaming cloths and carry costly accessories so that people should praise them. They are prince or princess in their very own eyes, regardless of how others see them.

Some of behavioral characteristics of a highly narcissist men or women, like trying to attract attention of others in crowd or raising oneself above others, can be observed in an individual who is courting or wooing partners.
Only difference is that the courting or flirting  individuals pays equal attention at potential partner, remains submissive yet appealing, tries to coordinate with movements and expressions of deserving partner (i. e. “mirroring”) and appears to inviting or accepting.

On the contrary, a highly narcissist individual tries to overrate oneself and creates a scene of having a great level of self-esteem which the individual completely lacks in the first place. If they're dating or courting somebody then they would try to manipulate them to spill out the words of appreciation and praise about themselves.

Another remarkable characteristic of a highly narcissist individual is that he/she tries to take credit of what has been achieved by others. They would come forth to shake their hands with you and say, “It was only me to encourage you from the beginning.” or “It has happened because of my company.” or “It happened because I greeted you in the beginning”.
They wouldn't be able to show facial expressions that match with their words and actions while appreciating, admiring and praising others. Also, they wouldn’t make statements like “Didn’t I tell you that you could make it?” or “You had all necessary qualities and the potential!”. They would keep reminding you about what ‘favors’ they had done(?).

Following are the other behavioral characteristics and patterns of an extremely narcissist individual:

1) The individual has an extravagant sense of self-importance. The individual tries to exaggerate himself/herself, qualities, skills and talents with expectations of being recognized as superior.

The individual is preoccupied with fantasies and dreams of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty or ideal love and always tries to pursue them.

The individual believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by or should associate with other special people or institutions.

The individual requires excessive and continuous admiration and appreciation. In fact, he/she seeks every opportunity of getting admired and appreciated.

The individual has a very strong sense of entitlement i. e. unreasonable expectations of special treatment and/or compliance with his or her expectations.

The individual exploits others to achieve or fulfill his own goals and purposes. Such individual often roams only with those appreciate him or her and follow instructions.

The individual lacks empathy and appears unwilling to recognize feelings and needs of others. Such individual creates a group of underachievers and stands in its center.

The individual is often jealous of others but believes that others are jealous of him/her on contrary. They wouldn't control their impulse and let it harm others.

The individual regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes. He denies or ignores existence of those individuals who reminds him/her about shortcomings.

The individual looks very charming and witty but always tries to make fun of others. Such individuals greets others in a way that he or she’s doing favor on them.
11) The individual is addicted and involved in substance abuse. They may not be able to stay in a one (committed) relationship for a long amount of time.
12) The individual's friendship with other person last as long as it serves the individual and fulfills its empty ego. The individual doesn't bother to disrespect others.

There are number of reasons that turn a tender, loving and easy going child turns into an extremely narcissist or noxic individual in the future who gives importance to itself and doesn't really care about others and their feeling and/or emotions. In fact, narcissist is empty from inside that's why it creates a lot of noise outside.
Narcissist individuals aren’t like psychopaths who have cruel intentions in their minds but actually they are victims of biological, genetic, psychological and parenting factors that shape their personalities in an egocentric manner - exactly like the prince (or princess) who falls in love with his (or her) own reflection in water.

Could you believe that everybody, including you and me, possess certain level of narcissism or excessive self-love? Actually, most of us are narcissists but some are beyond the normal or acceptable level of narcissism. Extremely narcissists are self-destructing individuals.

When put on a scale of narcissism or conducted psychological assessment, every  individual would find itself at different level of narcissism. If you really want to know then you can undergo a test by following this link and giving honest answers only.
Actually, a narcissist individual isn’t a subject to run away from or hate but actually the individual needs great amount of help, care and sympathy from other people to overcome narcissism.
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November 16, 2013

Self-communication by gesturing

Let it be nonverbal, spoken or written, communication is vastest domain of our life. Many of us think that any exchange with only others is communication but this is not true at all. We communicate with ourselves too and on both cognitive (related to perception, learning and reasoning) and emotive (related with emotions) terms.

We communicate with ourselves too but as per situational demand only. We communicate with ourselves in different situations the same way we emphasize, reiterate, remind and draw focus of others at something or somebody by using hand gestures and through touching ourselves or others.

Have you ever noticed yourself stroking or rubbing you chin when you're thinking deeply and trying to understand something complex? Have you ever tried to locate or find something without making any pointing or allocating gestures by your hands?

If you try to refrain yourself from not making any hand gestures to remind, allocate, symbolize or illustrate something; you would experience that you're not able to perform many tasks more efficiently or quickly. So the question is - Why shouldn't we be able to emphasize, reiterate, remind and draw focus at without making hand gestures?

Development of cognitive abilities and intelligence (problem solving) is strongly related with pattern recognition, spatial allocation and establishing co-relation among different entities that we come across throughout our life time. We get inputs through different senses but vision has greatest share - almost 90% in a visually fit person.

Everything we capture through eyes is stored inside our brain (visual cortex) in form of blueprints, maps or something alike. Representation of complex ideas or illustrations is entirely based upon our visual memory. It means that we can explain something based upon what we've saw or observed till date.

So what could be the purpose of hand gestures, touching or even some facial emblems during conversation? Pointing at something, mimicking to position or hold something in front of ourselves (by hand) and representing different things through hand gestures helps us to recall and also strengthen graphical memories related with entities.

It's a kind of close loop communication we do with ourselves. Also, others can easily understand graphical representation over words so we share our memories with them.
Spatial Gesturing: Sensing space around yourself.
[This article is based on an email communication with my friend - a doctoral candidate and nonverbal communication researcher from Grand Canyon University located in Phoenix (AZ), United States]

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