Body Language of Extreme Psychopath

Just a 'bad child' or
A Psychopath?

Can you tell that Who is a Successful Predator? A successful predator is the not just the one who kills for living but the one who knows very well that who its preys are and where they are found in the first place. To succeed in hunting, a successful predator detects the weakness in its prey quickly, alienates the prey from others tactically, kills it mercilessly, satisfies its hunger peacefully and leaves behind the carcass calmly.

We can easily and quickly identify the wild predators just by looking at their physical features, traits and characteristics like extremely acute sensory organs, muscular limbs, wider jaws, sharper teeth, retractable claws and camouflage. By knowing their characteristics and key behavioral patterns, we can manage to stay away from them and save our lives. Our remote ancestors achieved the same and that’s why we are here.

What if you face a predator putting on a mask of a human? What if an ordinary looking individual turns out to be an abuser or a criminal? Can you identify such individual who might be moving around you in the same room at present? How quickly and accurately you can identify such social predators? Until you don’t know what kind of the person is exactly, these questions cannot be answered at all.

Like cruel, cunning and calculative predators; a very few of us are quite untruthful, unethical, deceptive, careless, cruel, irresponsible, impulsive, emotionally detached and also lacking remorse, guilt or empathy. An individual having this serious anti-social personality disorder (ASPD) is called as a Psychopath (Psycho). Fundamentally, the extreme psychopaths view other individuals as their preys, pawns, puppets or slaves.

Empathy is the critical pro-social quality.
(Image Courtesy: American Psychological Association)

Basically, what makes an individual an extreme psychopath is higher sensitivity towards rewards and lesser or complete lack of sensitivity towards pains, sufferings and distress in others which include both humans and non-humans. Deep inside their brains, Amygdala (emotional center) shows lesser or no electrical activities when psychopaths are exposed to emotional stimulus especially the fearful ones.

Although only 1 individual out of every 100 person is a psychopath, psychopaths make upto 25% of prison population in North America. Thus every psychopath isn't always a murderer or a serial killer but all psychopaths are involved in anti-social activities, actions and decisions which pose serious threats to individuals, groups, families or communities they belong to or they stare at as predators.

Following are the body language clues given by extreme psychopaths:

1) They don't give emotional/affective reactions to situations, scenes and also the words which induce emotions in others.

2) They keep on adding up anger inside themselves for many days and suddenly break down into abuse and violence.

3) They are very bad or worst in mimicking the emotional facial expressions that are seen on faces of other individuals.

4) They try to find a weakness or a vulnerability in other individuals, by carefully watching them for several days.

5) They act to express one emotion on behalf of the other i. e. a smile or a scorn on behalf of a sad face.

6) They express no timidity, fear, shame, shyness, stress and nervousness through their body language.

7) They touch to dominate, control or hurt others than empathizing them in stress, pain or suffering.

8) They are highly accurate and quick in picking fear on the faces of other individuals.

9) They appear very charming, confident, bold, attractive and persuasive publicly.

10) They are very poor and sloppy in picking negative emotion like sadness.

11) They stare for a very long time without any emotions on their faces.

12) They appear very calm and cool while facing stressful situations.

13) They don't feel the emotions but they do try to act like they do.

14) They make no or a very few head movements while talking.

15) They appear bored in absence of any arousing activities.

16) They mostly speak very smoothly and in neutral tone.

17) They tactically separate their preys from the others.

18) They flirt with the individuals of opposite genders.

19) They express no anxiety for the sad individuals.

20) They do make a very good first impression.

Although both narcissist and psychopath share some common behavioral traits, a psychopath is mostly born but a narcissist and a sociopath is mostly made. While narcissists demand a great amount of attention and special treatment due extremely higher sense of self-worth, psychopaths seek enormous amount of power, control and prestige. They also have the 'Final Solutions' for serious social issues due to over-generalization of people.

Predatory Stare is common among psychopathic killers.

Although psychopaths feel the physical pain themselves, they don't express emotions even while watching a scene which normally causes the distress in all other individuals at varying levels or upsets their stomachs at worst. Laws, morals values, rules, regulations and rights of others are barriers on the path of achieving success, dominance, power and wealth for psychopaths in the first place so they disregard them.

Following are the overall behavioral characteristics, patterns and clues of extremely psychopathic individuals:

1) They are involved in promiscuous sexual relations or have multiple sex partners (outside marital/committed relation).

2) They have the egocentricity or the extremely higher sense of self-worth in comparison to all other individuals.

3) They have very poor or lack of control over their behaviors due to absence of fear about the consequences.

4) They are very glib individuals who have a shallow or superficial charm. They are highly intelligent.

5) They lack the kind of emotional intensity, depth and vividity which most of us experience.

6) They are naturally prone to boredom. Also, they can’t hold frustration for a long time.

7) They are the pathological liars and they possess mastery in deceiving the others.

8) They have a parasitic lifestyle i. e. they do keep on sucking others for living.

9) They are the con-artists, irregular, insincere and unproductive in work lives.

10) They are very irresponsible so they easily get away with wrongdoings.

11) They have a history of theft, bullying or setting fire in early childhood.

12) They have a poor sense about What is wrong and What is right.

13) They take credit for the work that others have done for them.

14) They are very careless about the well-being about of others.

15) Their behavior changes drastically after establishing rapport.

16) They dump individuals after their need(s) is (not) fulfilled.

17) They lack realistic and long-term plans in their own lives.

18) They inflict pain and harm to animals in early childhood.

19) They manipulate others into fulfilling their own desires.

20) They fail to establish strong and long-lasting relations.

21) They are extremely bold and risk-taking individuals.

22) They over-admire somebody in very first meeting.

23) They put blame on others for their own failures.

24) They lack intellectual depth in their thoughts.

25) They like to see other individuals in trouble.

Generally, males are known to be extremely psychopathic by most, due to high levels of testosterone. However, a very few percentage of females or women too are extremely psychopathic. Female psychopaths are mostly involved in love bombing, gaslighting, pretending, playing victim card, developing relationship with victims, deceiving, insulting and abusing their partners, gossiping excessively and excluding or forming alliances against their victims.

All extreme psychopaths always don’t end up behind the bars but they have a greatest potential of devising, planning for and inflicting serious and permanent damages to individuals, families, groups, communities, entire humanity and also its overall future if they are allowed to behave, operate, manipulate and make decisions as they like to with lack of conscience, morality, responsibility, empathy and remorse.

"Every psychopath is a (extreme) narcissist but not every (extreme) narcissist is a psychopath."
Clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula
(World leading expert on Narcissism)

Ted Bundy (Psychopath)
Charming Serial Killer

What sets apart an empathetic and pro-social person from a psychopathic one is the great sense of consequences if another person is hurt or if a rule is broken etc. The psychopaths have poor or lack of connectivity between Amygdala (emotional center for fear and anxiety) and Prefrontal Cortex (PFC) which is responsible for social and emotional/affective decision-making (executive) functions such as inducing empathy and guilt.

Unlike the wild yet easily identifiable predators from a distance, the looks, appearance and impression can be deceptive in human world. There are quite chances that you face a psychopath in your entire life at least once or multiple times. Perhaps, you might end up falling into a trap set by a psychopath.

Psychopathy in children can be detected at an early age, as early as 3rd year of age. So if you are a parent, a custodian and a caretaker then you must pay very close attention to your own children's social behavior, actions and activities around other children. Also, children born to the narcissistic parents can turn into psychopaths.

Almost everybody of us share at least one or multiple behavioral traits out of above 25 behavioral traits/clues of the extreme psychopaths so the next great questions are How one can find if a person you think is a psychopath (psycho)? and How psychopathic the person is exactly?

Is Dexter Morgan a typical serial-killing psychopath? Most of the audience conviniently believe he is the one. However, Dr. Todd Grande has analyzed him or profiled his fictional character thoroughly. Just patiently watch what exactly he has found about him.

If you are really interested, curious or even anxious to know the same then you can use this online tool to find if an individual you think is psychopathic and how much psychopathic he/she is exactly. If the score goes above 30 then it's a truly danger sign and a wakeup call.

By the way, there are some common or shared behavioral and psychological traits among Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths. Also, sociopaths are often called as 'angry psychopaths'.

[Special Note: World's renowned expert in Psychopathy, Canadian forensic psychologist and professor emeritus of University of British Columbia Dr. Robert D. Hare created the checklist (PCL-R) with 20 different traits put under the same to decide the total psychopathic score.]

Related Articles:
1) Body Language of Extreme Narcissist 2) The Face of Liar(?) 3) Confident Body Language 4) Truth about Lying 5) Are you a 'flying' terrorist? 6) Fear Factor 7) Body Image and Social Communication 8) Body Language of James Bond 9) Amygdala Hijack: Irrational Physical Reactions

The language of eyes

As far as I remember, I couldn’t watch a single horror film or TV show, from the beginning to end. After growing up, I began to hate and express loathing towards disgusting faces and scenes that dominate most of the horror movies and shows. I don't waste my time in watching horror on screen, even if it's entertaining(?).

Now, I can exercise my choice to walk away from television screen, switch it off or simply hop to next satellite channel whenever a horror movie/serial is broadcasted or played by somebody. My eyes, ears and brain are free from getting horrified, expressing loath and feeling disgusted. Total relief from mental torture!

However, it wasn’t so easy in childhood days when all others in my family wanted to watch horror movie/serial and I needed to keep myself away from horrific or disgusting scenes. Having just a single large television set kept in a hall, I had no other choice but to stay put in presence of my family members watching and listening to horror.

Whenever any horror movie/serial was being broadcasted, I used to put cotton balls in my ears and try to look away from television set. As I clearly remember, I used to bury my eyes in books kept nearby purposefully. There's a great coincidence in body language that fear is as primitive as eyes and their movements are controlled the primitive brain.

Blocking Eyes? Scared?

Just by keeping my eyeballs away from television, I used to avoid extremely anxiety and stress which might have caused by watching the horrifying and disgusting scenes. My eyes were giving away my honest yet fearful intentions to defend myself from psychological distress

Although my senior family members used to call me “Coward”, I never feel bothered about it at all. At least, I never had any characters from any horror movie/serial in my dreams since I didn’t watch them in the first place. Smart strategy it was then and it is now - Simply avoid looking at what might invite stress.

From expressing different emotions, intentions and feelings to signaling attention and orientation, our eyes unconsciously give away various kinds of and very important clues to the outside world. To put simply, eyes do or can reveal much more than what a person says, doesn’t say at all and tries to prove or disprove.

From the very first moment of your entry into this world to the last moment you’ve interacted with anybody or even looked your own face into a mirror, eyes have mattered way too much into your life. Didn't they? Through movements of muscles that surround eye sockets, even blind people convey their emotions e. g. frowning in anger.

Eye of Horus (Egyptian God)

After all, why our eyes really are so communicating? In the world of creatures, human eye is considered as one of the most marvelous organs or body parts if its structural complexity and functionality is considered. Also, unlike most of other organs, eyes are directly connected with brain to an area called which is called as Visual Cortex.

Additionally, eyes are the only sensory organs that start developing in womb quite earlier, right from 4th week after conception. Right after face, eyes are considered the most important element in every facet of human interaction, so much so that merely images and emblems of eyes can trigger array of emotions and feelings.

Before development of ability to speak or the very facial muscles that help in expressing emotions, our remote ancestors and all other creatures had to depend on their eyes for communication along with other movable body parts. They had to use eyes, area surrounding them and other parts of face to send different clues to members of their groups as efficiently and timely as they could.

Through millions of years of development and adaptation (evolution), human eyes became capable of doing so many things than just seeing things e. g. expressing respect or supremacy, signaling interest or aversion, giving away lust or rivalry, seducing or derogating etc.

Different types of eye contacts with different
intentions, emotions, motives and moods

Like computerized eye-trackers, most of us choose to pick and encode signals given away by eye balls and pupils only. In Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) techniques, “eye-ball response assessment” or decoding cognitive states by detecting movements of eye balls is most popular.

These readings might be accurate but they are highly controversial in main-stream scientific community. After all, eyes don’t just give away cognitive but range of clues which we’re going to see next. I’m quite sure that most of them are first time you might be reading about.

While reading or decoding language of eyes, we have to consider different areas or sections like sclera (white part of eye ball), iris (darker part of eye ball), pupils (darker spot in center), ocular muscles (muscles that surround eye balls), eye lids and eyebrows. Even in some cases, position of neck is also need to be considered.

Before going to clues, we must know what different kinds of clues are or can be given away by eyes. Clues can be broadly categorized as A) Physical B) Social C) Psychological D) Cognitive E) Courtship. Let’s go through them one after another with few examples.

A) Physical Clues: Since input through eyes dominates all other types of sensory inputs reaching to brain, they also give away how and what our brain feels about or rates the physical environment around us. How comfortable we are in given physical environment is unconsciously conveyed by our eyes and its surrounding area. Also, eyes give way clues if our body is suffering from any internal or external factors such as injury, exhaustion or unrest.

A very good example of same is our unconsciously response to light, air flow or harmful entities. When harsh light or wind current hits our eyes, we simply squint or protect our eye balls by tightening muscles that surround eye balls.

Eye lids are partially or fully closed if required. Eyebrows are also pulled down to provide additional protection to eye balls. If extreme conditions, we cover our eyes with palms, look down or move our face away.

Eyes also give away if we are experiencing intolerable pain e. g. badly aching tooth or broken bones. Response to pain and physical sufferings is given away by squinting, pulling eyebrows down and shedding tears. When I compare photos of my face taken at the time when I was suffering from intense back and neck pain with those taken after end of sufferings, I clearly see that area around my eye balls appears more relaxed.

B) Social Clues: Each of us is an integral part of human society which is filled with people having varying socio-economical statues, authorities, resources, belongings, experiences, skills, age groups and physical capacities. Superiority (or dominance), Equality (or equi-dominance) and Subordination (or sub-dominance) can loosely be translated as Respect or Authority, Friendship and Insignificance respectively.

The way one person makes an eye contact with somebody or the way it puts itself into relative physical position (elevation and distance) while looking at other person(s) conveys how the person wants other person(s) to regard him/her. It might be irrespective of how other person(s) really regards him/her. Eye contact made by a dominant, powerful or superior person is exactly opposite to what a subordinate, powerless or inferior person does.

Egoistic, dominant and powerful persons make unhindered, straight, steady and elongated eye contact (with no smile). Most often, they raise their chin to express their confidence and lower it down to derogate or frighten. Often, they maintain considerable physical distance from subordinates and if possible - place themselves on high elevation.

Running eyes from tip to town of subordinate is also done by bossy or type A persons. Imagine a king sitting on a high throne, looking over officers in his court.

C) Psychological Clues: As eyes collect visual clues to be sent to brain, they are also involved in expressing few basic emotions. In fact, facial expressions related with various emotions and feelings are incomplete without eyes. On the other hand, only eyes and its surrounding area are capable of giving emotional clues even when other parts of face are hidden or invisible to an experienced and skilled observer.

Surprised child

Muscles around eyes and eyebrows convey basic emotions like fear, anger, surprise and sadness. While expressing both fear and anger, we pull our eyebrows close to each other and downward only to give protection for eye balls while eye balls appear to be larger in size. However, inner ends of eyebrows move upwards and away from each other in fear.

In sadness, eye balls appear to be normal size and eyebrows aren’t pulled downward but only their inner ends move upwards and away from each other. While expressing surprise or shock, eyebrows go upward and away from eye balls since brain needs to collect more and more visual clues coming through eyes. Just eyebrows can convey fear, anger, surprise and sadness.

D) Cognitive Clues: Eyes are gateways to enormous information, knowledge and intelligence because only vision collects more than 70% of entire data which is processed by and stored inside brain. Our eyes give clues about how much we are interested, attentive, focused and even in dire need of collecting visual information coming from any entity, person or situation.

Confused?

It starts with looking at something covertly or overtly. Our eye balls and especially pupils (darker part of eye balls) are re-directed towards the entity. If we are comfortable about and not afraid of the entity then we keep looking at same continuously without squinting, blocking our eyes or moving our eye balls somewhere else. If we’re focused then we bat our eye lids very less.

If we aren’t able to understand, figure out, grasp or clearly focus on something then we squint and pull eyebrows closer to eye balls. Not understanding something clearly leads to stress which is conveyed by tensed eyebrows and muscles around eye balls. If something arouses us or fires up neurons inside our brain then our eye balls appear bigger and eye lids are pulled wide apart.

E) Courtship Clues: If we find somebody (belonging to opposite gender) interesting or appealing then we don’t hesitate to look at the person. In fact, we crave to have glimpse(s) of that person at multiple times. Additionally, we want to let the person know our interest (irrespective of that person’s interest in us) by attracting its attention towards us in many different ways e. g. gesturing or touching our own body.

Come-Hither look

Who you’re looking at can easily be detected by the direction and angle at which your irises are set. More you covertly or overtly look at the person; more it shows your developing interest about same. Unlike man’s direct gazing, woman can observe man of her interest by glancing him sideways. They are master in using peripheral vision so their observation remains almost undetected for most of the time.

If both parties are mutually interested then they start to look at each other briefly and then look away repeatedly for a considerable amount of time. Come-hither look in which a person looks at person by dropping its chin (and closing eyes partially) is a classical signal of invitation for intimacy. When both persons want to move ahead and initiate courtship then they start looking in each others' eyes. That’s why eyes play a pivotal role during courtship.

Apart from broader classification/categorization of clues mentioned just above, we’ll see some well-known nonverbal give-aways too.

1) Rubbing eyes: Primarily, rubbing of eyes is done to clear away dirt, dust or stickiness from eyes, which we often need to do after getting up from bed in morning. It is also done if a person gets tired of something and wants to take a short break.

2) Blocking eyes: Generally, blocking of eyes is done when we don’t want to look at something, which might be disturbing, distressing or frightening. Also, if we don't want others to look into our eyes (to read our mind) then we simply block them.

3) Gaze aversion: Gaze aversion is done when we don't want others to know that we're looking at them. It is also done when we loose interest in something or somebody. Instantaneous gaze aversion indicates shyness, anger, nervousness or withdrawal.

4) Sleepy eyes: Sleepy eyes convey lack of energy, lack of enthusiasm, lack of freshness and sadness. When we get bored of something or somebody, we staring at same with partially closed eyes. Sleepy eyes suggest weakness, illness or psychological disorder too.

5) Enlarged pupils: Size of pupils is directly controlled by brain. When our brain needs more visual input, our pupils get enlarged. Enlarged pupils convey excitement, arousal and increased level of activities inside brain.

6) Downward gaze: Downward gaze indicate lack of confidence, nervousness, shyness or self-involvement. Downward gaze also suggests embarrassment, insult, loss or sadness. Also it suggests (temporary) social withdrawal.

7) Line-of-sight gaze: Line-of-sight gaze indicates interest, attentiveness, confidence, courageousness, enthusiasm or social involvement. Line-of-sight gaze is considered very normal and also more (socially) acceptable among all other kinds of gazes.

8) Upward gaze: Upward gaze indicates imagination, visualization, fantasizing, thinking, creativity and also (temporary) withdrawal from social interaction. Looking up also indicates stubbornness, contempt, dislike, boredom or preying to almighty.

9) Closed eyes: When we close our eye, world around us cease to exist. Loosely closed eyes with no stress around eye balls indicate peacefulness, contemplativeness or meditativeness. Tightly closed eyes indicate high stress, pain or internal conflict.

10) Shifty eyes: Shifty eyes or unsteady gaze suggests confusion, fear, stress, craziness or lack of confidence. Unlike steady gaze or direct eye contact, shifty eyes during face to face interactions are considered less trustworthy.

11) Blinking eyes: When eye lids start opening and closing rapidly in cycles then it's considered as absolutely abnormal. (Rapidly) Blinking eyes suggest fear, nervousness, guilt, anger and instability. Blinking also suggest hyper neural activities.

Eyes smile too!

If you really want to become master the language of eyes then you have to become a very good observer by being highly attentive towards (minute) details. You must be mentally present in any given situation and have your eyes (and ears also) completely fixed on the person you're observing.

Ability to pick and decode different clues and signals given away by eyes with respect to the given situation is really important but also very challenging for many of us.

I'm quite sure that it ultimately would open a portal to your social development. More you try understanding people; more you become confident, prosperous, peaceful, secured, strong and satisfied. What else you might want?

Related Articles:
1) Just by looking at Hands and Eyes 2) Importance of Eyes 3) Are you Jealous?

Reading Body Language - Perceptual Bias

Are you reading right?

I can clearly recall one incident which would perfectly explain what I’m trying to put here in this article. This article is all about how an individual's own strong desire or unsettling urge can and does influence the individual's ability to interpret body language of others, especially those who are targeted, selected or chosen to fulfill the desire or urge.

At one fine afternoon, I went on a walk with some my friends and colleagues from my office team in Pune (India) after lunch. After covering some distance, we reached in a large and open public space as we did several times before. All of us sat on a bench except one special person. He stood right in front of us by resting his hands over his hips, ultimately making himself look bigger. Inside the office, he was my team leader.

I would like to mention here that he used to claim himself as a body language expert publicly, most of the time only in my presence and right on my face. It didn't stop there too. One day, he challenged me to interpret his body language in front of a few colleagues which I humbly denied, right on his face. Actually, he was alluring me into his trap, wanted me to go wrong anyway and make fun of me.

Well! Let's come back to the incident which ultimately resulted into this very article. While we were chatting among ourselves, a small group of boys and girls came there and all of them sat 50 to 60 feet away from us. What happened after that moment only added to my deep interest about the social readings out of unconscious desires.

Right from the moment the group arrived at the spot, a really good looking girl caught attention of the self-proclaimed body language expert. He started to look at her continuously and without batting his eyelids but she somehow didn’t realize about same. Apart of other girls in the group, she had dressed up very well indeed.

She sat 5 to 6 feet away from rest of her friends, only to talk with somebody else privately on her cell phone. This only added to excitement of the guy and perhaps few others too in our group, as most of them were unmarried and looking out for suitable partners. She kept talking on phone and he started looking at her only, almost continuously.

The girl on her cell phone

Just a couple of minutes passed and an unexpected event occurred. The so-called body language expert suddenly asked me a question, “What’s your interpretation of that girl’s body language?”. Without wasting a single moment, I answered to him, by saying, “She’s just busy in talking with someone in private. Other than that, she’s not conveying anything.”

It simply didn’t just end there and the whole incident took a new turn. Matter of fact is I was expecting the same derogatory comments from him at that moment when he was quite busy in looking at her continuously. Undoubtedly, he was enormously attracted at her beauty and wanted her to look at him in return.

The so-called body language expert tried to simply turn me down in front of others in our group, by saying, “Sachchidanand, you simply didn’t fulfill my expectations by answering this way. The girl is doing nothing but trying to grab attention (of him only?) by sitting away from her friends. What all she wants is to get attention (of him only?).”

Well! The guy indirectly conveyed his own desire or urge even when she never looked at anybody else other than her own group of friends. She wasn’t giving away any nonverbal clues of attention grabbing, grooming and/or flirting. She never looked at him and anybody in our group. She was just sitting there, glued to her cell phone and busy talking with somebody.

Like all others in our group, I was quite aware and experienced about sarcastic, jealous and derogatory commenting style of the guy. Definitely, he was quite skillful in reading people and has done some good social readings, according to my personal experience. However, his unconscious desire or urge took hold of his mind while reading her body language clues.

The only reason behind his wrong, incorrect or biased interpretation about the girl was his own desire or urge to attract her attention at himself as he couldn’t move towards an unfamiliar but nice looking and well-dressed girl. Not just with him only but this exactly happens with almost everybody, everywhere and quite frequently!

Subjective Perception

When our instincts, emotions, impulses, desires and urges are stronger than rational and logical thinking, we simply look at people and/or situations in false colors only. We unconscious try to convince ourselves or (openly) defend our own biased or individual-centric viewpoint(s) about the individuals we are looking at and/or the situations we are in.

We try to interpret people and/or situations on the basis of our own intentions, motives, emotions or desires that we harbor for/towards them. Very few of us can throw away, override or keep aside what we unconsciously need, want or expect from the individuals under observation. Only those are called as the real experts.

Moreover, an individual assumes that he/she is the only target or center of attention of the individual or a group of the people that he/she is looking at the moment. This frequently and widely prevalent psychological phenomenon, which I personally call it as Perceptual Bias for Unconsciously Desired Result (PBUDR). In other words, it can be shortly called as ‘Subjective Perception’.

We don't just misread or misinterpret facial expressions and body language of people but also appearances, placements, arrangements, sequencing and links among different objects and entities. Don't you really believe in what I'm saying? There are plenty of real life examples and there's a single best one to put here. Just take a simple test of yourself!

What you personally think after looking at this woman’s face? Does she look jealous, angry, bored or lustful/flirtatious? Without any doubt, your answer would reflect your own subjective perception or desire about her especially if you're a male seeking female attention.

Are these eyes jealous, angry, bored or lustful?

Just to mention here that this face has been included in a small quiz created by me. By clicking on this link, you can test your social reading skills and know your score. Go ahead with it!

Related Articles:
1) Hand Gestures 2) Facial Expressions 3) Postures 4) Para Language 5) Micro Expressions 6) Context 7) Proxemics 8) Congruence 9) Clusters 10) Challenges 11) Interpretation 12) Baseline 13) Observation is the key 14) Are you Jealous? (of me) 15) Artificial Intelligence and Body Language

The couple in trouble?

When a man and a woman fall in love with each other, it speaks loudly through their body language. Love doesn't remain hidden or suppressed for a long time and shows up in one or other form. People start talking about them and different stories are shared or gossiped.

Eventually, we come to know that the couple has decided to live with each other together. Knot is tied between both of them and they are officially declared as a married couple publicly by performing some rituals and by giving a feast to the attendees.

Some couples may choose to stay in a short-term, a live-in relationship or an uncommitted 'venture' but still they have to make some adjustments. Relationship between a man and woman is natural and wonderful but it is also filled with many challenges, unforeseen incidents and uncertainties.

Though every romantic relation has a glorious and rosy beginning, not all stories progress ahead very pleasantly. Every couple experiences rough days, monotonousness or stagnation in their relationship but their mindset determines future of their relationship.

Those who give enough time to develop healthy and positive outlook towards each other, survive through rough patches and keep flourishing in unimagined ways. Developing a strong, healthy and respectful bond between two individuals takes a a lot of time.

However, not every person is the same when it comes to have patience, manage negative impulses and guide oneself into a right direction. When many things go beyond peaceful compromise, a couple starts moving into a disappointing stage i. e. separation.

Thinking about "What exactly went wrong?"

n daily routine, both men and women often get busy with their tasks at hands in such a way that they could hardly pay attention at each other. Traditionally, it’s the woman who starts filling unsafe when enough attention is not paid at her and some fruitful conversation doesn’t take place between a husband and wife. Sometimes, one partner starts drifting away and taking less interest into an existing relationship.

Many people, mostly men, get into a shock after coming to know that their partner is no longer enthusiastic in the relationship they both had set out for. Unlike flashy and telling courtship signs, a man and woman drift away from each other silently. Aren't there any expression, signs or clues, prior to separation?

Expression of Contempt

According to Prof. Dr. John Gottman (a psychologist well known for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction), a telling sign for a couple on verge of separation is not anger and sadness but contempt and disgust.

Unlike pair bonding facial expressions, gestures and maneuvers; contempt and disgust convey unconscious disrespect and dislike towards each other. Both emotional expressions silent convey the wish to stay away from each other. Both are distancing emotional expressions.

One partner may not realize that the other is expressing contempt and/or disgust during regular interaction but identifying these alarming emotions on face (and body) can help in saving a troubled relationship. Moreover, contempt and/or disgust are expressed not only by couples in rocking relationship but also by any two persons irrespective of their genders.

Expression of Disgust

Contempt can be a result of suppressed anger and/or heightened social status and desirability level of one or both partners. It can be readily observed in today’s liberal environment that allows both partners to climb professional, social, economical and materialistic heights with many potential partners in sight and in presence at their respective workplaces.

On the other hand, disgust simply means “I don’t want to or can't stay by your smell!”. It’s a state of utter dislike but not disagreement with the other person. Disgust is also related with the signature smell (pheromones) that body of one person produces and the another inhales it unconsciously. Pheromones play a greater role to play in romantic lives.

More often these two expressions are given away by one or both partners during every single face to face interaction and also while discussing about partner with some other person; more there are chances of their separation in (near) future.

Out of these two alarming expressions, women are more likely to express disgust and men are more likely to express contempt on their faces unconsciously. Women too can show contempt like men do.

Related Articles:
1) Courtship and Dance 2) Woman's Courtship Body Language (Part 1) 3) Woman's Courtship Body Language (Part 2) 4) Man's Courtship Body Language 5) Know Who is Attracted to You 6) The Look of Love? 7) Asymmetrical Smile but not Scorn

Body Language of Extreme Narcissist

Can you quickly spot an extremely narcissistic individual i. e. a grandiose, self-submerged, entitlement seeking, abusing, impulsive and exploiting individual, just by observing its body language and overall behavior? Both self-confessed and unidentified narcissists are all around us in a great number and you’re likely to face them at almost every location and in different situations throughout our lives. In fact, the modern age has provided a firm platform for the proliferation of narcissism like never before.

Like every other individual living with and around us in the same society, an extremely narcissistic individual too makes for living and struggles for survival. Then what’s so wrong with an extremely narcissistic individual after all? According to some psychology experts, narcissism is the final stop on the downward and steep slippery slope of psychopathy, social predation and criminality. Hence if you can't identify a narcissistic individual then you are most likely to face the consequences.

"I, ME, MINE and MYself!"

Everybody needs to sustain itself through adversities, challenges and dangers which is the fundamental necessity of every living and flourishing creature and not just human beings. Moreover, we all need to form different types of relations with different individuals for living, progressing and prospering. One needs to develop and posses self-love, self-respect and self-worth for the same. It gives us confidence, strength and social advantage.

Only thing is that a few of us are extremely self-loving and entitlement seeking individuals and this turns them into manipulators, controllers, serial liars, cheaters, scape-goaters and abusers. Principally, what every extremely narcissistic individual does most of time is attracting attention of others towards itself then ultimately impress, exploit, manipulate and control others for serving its own best interests.

Following are the body language clues given by extremely narcissistic individuals:

1) They come forth to shake their hands with you and say, “It was only me to encourage you from the beginning.”, “It has happened only because I accompany you.”, “It happened only because I greeted you in the beginning.”.

2) They try to attract attention of others and especially individuals of opposite gender in crowd by raising themselves above others or staying away from others.

3) Unlike open-ended and “away from body” gestures, they gesticulate in such way that their hands and palms face their own bodies most of the time.

4) They would raise their voice unnecessarily to make their presence felt without any hesitation about their contribution to the noise pollution.

5) They try to accentuate their presence and make maneuvers that saliently convey to others, “Hey, I’m here! Aren’t you looking at me?”.

6) They often express jealously in presence of those individuals who make them feel genuinely inferior, insecure and powerless.

7) They hardly show facial expressions that match with their words and actions while they appreciate, admire and praise others.

8) They invade your private and intimate space suddenly and remind that you didn’t treat them as per their own expectations.

9) They standout as magnets for the members of apposite genders and especially those with genuine low self-esteem.

10) They often express contempt in presence of those individuals whom they assume as inferior than themselves.

11) They look very charming, intelligent, smart, updated and tidy by their overall appearance and clothing.

12) They put on glossy or gleaming cloths and carry costly accessories so that people should praise them.

An extremely narcissistic individual tries to overrate oneself and creates a scene or a drama of having a great level of self-esteem which the individual completely lacks in the first place. If they're dating or courting somebody especially with lower self-esteem then they would try to manipulate them to spill out the words of appreciation, recognition and admiration about themselves.

""WHO else is BETTER than ME?"

Unlike extreme psychopaths, extreme extremely narcissistic individuals wouldn't pose any physical harm to others due their higher sense of guilt and remorse. However, they mentally torment, abuse and gaslight others at a great extent, leaving their victims in psychological pain throughout their lives. Also, narcissistic parents can give birth to psychopathic children.

Following are the overall behavioral characteristics, patterns and clues of extremely narcissistic individuals:

1) They show arrogance, stiffness and haughty behavior. They even ignore the existence or presence of those who boldly object/criticize their negative aspects.

2) They are preoccupied with fantasies and dreams about unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty or an ideal love and thus they always try to pursue them.

3) They have an extravagant sense of self-importance. They try to exaggerate their qualities, skills and talents with expectations of recognition as superiors.

4) They lack the ability of recognizing and respecting feelings and needs of others. They form circles of underachievers around themselves and stand in their centers.

5) They exploit others to achieve or fulfill their own needs, goals and ambitions. They roam only with those who appreciate them or follow their instructions.

6) They have a very strong sense of entitlement i. e. unreasonable or extraordinary expectations for special treatment, care, attention and compliance.

7) They believe that they are “special” and unique hence can only be understood by or should associate only with other special individuals or institutions.

8) They are addicted to or involved in substance abuse. They may not be able to stay in a single (committed) relationship for a longer amount of time.

9) They have definite plans, strategies or agendas to stand out in the crowd without any considerable contributions to the community or the society.

10) They demand excessive and continuous admiration and appreciation. In fact, they seek every opportunity of getting admired and appreciated.

11) They look very charming and witty but they always try to make fun of the others. They greet as if they are doing great favor to the others.

12) Their relationships with others last as long as they satisfy their empty ego. They don't at all bother to disrespect others publicly.

13) They hardly make statements like “Didn’t I tell you that you could make it?” or “You had all necessary qualities and the potential!”.

14) They cannot control their own impulses or bad tempers. Also, they publicly cannot withstand any kind of criticism at all.

15) They often express extreme jealously towards the others but they claim that others are jealous of them on the contrary.

There are number of reasons that turn a tender, loving and easy going child into an extremely narcissistic or a noxic individual in the future who gives importance to itself and doesn't really care about others and their feeling and/or emotions. In fact, an extremely narcissistic individual is empty from inside that's why it creates a lot of noise outside.

Narcissistic individuals aren’t like psychopaths who have cruel intentions in their minds but actually they are victims of biological, genetic, psychological, environment and parenting factors that transform their fragile personalities in an ego-centrism, exactly like the prince (or princess) who falls in love with his (or her) own reflection in water and ultimately die by falling and drowning into it.

Could you believe that everybody, including you and me, possess certain level of narcissism or self-love? Actually, most of us are healthy narcissists but some individuals are beyond the normal or acceptable level of narcissism. However, the extreme narcissists are self-destructing individuals. They never can have a long-term, strong and deeper relationship with other individuals, including their own family members.

"Every psychopath is a (extreme) narcissist but not every (extreme) narcissist is a psychopath."
Clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula
(World leading expert on Narcissism)

According to experts, there are five main types of narcissism i. e. overt, covert, communal, antagonistic and malignant narcissism. Actually, an extremely narcissistic individual isn’t a subject to punish but actually the individual needs a great amount of counselling and therapy to overcome the narcissistic traits.

When put on a scale of narcissism or conducted psychological assessment, every individual would find itself at different level of narcissism. If you really want to know then you can undergo a test by following this link and giving honest answers only.

By the way, there are some common or shared behavioral and psychological traits among Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths. Also, sociopaths are often called as angry psychopaths.

Related Articles:
1) The face of liar(?) 2) Body Language with Poor Body Image 3) Body Language in Depression 4) Body Language of Extreme Psychopath 5) Amygdala Hijack: Irrational Physical Reactions

The Look of Love?

Where there's smoke, there's fire! This fundamental principle perfectly applies to attraction, courtship and romance because the sparks in hearts speak silently during the early stages of relationship. However, the clues we try to obtain (or ignore) from potential or existing partner can either make us to stray into the smoke of uncertainty or end up in the perfect fiery disaster.

Can just a single body language cue given away by other person indicate brewing attraction or romantic feelings for you? This is a grueling question that most of us want to find a firm answer for. A recently conducted research claims that a mere glance gives away the clue. Being myself an observer, I attest the results of the same research and this article is about the same.

When a woman develops romantic or intimate feelings about a man, she briefly glances at right side in presence of him. She does so even if she finds complement given to her by the man more appealing. Coy smile, raised eyebrows and micro-expression of happiness may accompany the glance.

Specifically, women have been observed giving an indicative glance more (often) as compared to men. Hence, it is widely utilized in commercial advertisements by female models endorsing the kind of products which needs expression of attraction and romantic feelings towards the male models.

My own insight about this type of glance is all about how a man and woman normally stand or walk alongside with each other. Most men in this world are right handed and women use to stand at the left side of them. This kind of physical positioning might not be just a cultural norm because men are supposed to protect their female partner.

Men can keep their female partner (also children) at left side of their bodies and attack or defend them by an arm or a weapon hold in their right hands. Thus a woman glancing at right side unconsciously appeals the desired man to position or stand at right side of her i. e. to protect her.

So what about men? A man too glances briefly at left side in presence of woman he likes, finds interesting or wants to be romantic with. It perfectly complements with glancing done at right side by a woman. Man wants her woman to position herself or stand at left side of him so that he could protect her.

Side-way glancing or looking into eyes of each other can be observed in couples with positive spirit. In contrast, they tend to look away from each other when they are in troubled relationship, mutual disliking or disagreement over something.

The research about side-way glancing might have been conducted on women seeking right handed men only. Similar observations were not recorded about women seeking left handed men till date. An article about same was published in UK's DailyMail. You can go through entire article by following this link.

After posting this article, I've been witnessing a sudden rise in this sideway eyeball movement cue in Indian commercial advertisements.

Related Articles:
1) Man's Courtship Body Language 2) Woman's Courtship Body Language (Part 1) 3) Woman's Courtship Body Language (Part 2) 4) Know Who is Attracted to You 5) Couple in trouble?

Know Who is Attracted to You

At some point, everybody wants to know if members of the opposite sex are interested in them or not. Be it male or female, everyone would like to know if someone else is attracted to them. It may not necessarily be to take things forward in a romantic direction but just to know and acknowledge and soak in the good feeling of knowing that you are in demand! I personally am flattered when I receive any Indicators of Interest from the opposite sex, I don’t know about you!

Indicators of Interest: Aren't they easy to understand?

Notice I used a relatively new term: Indicator of Interest. In this case, the interest we are talking about is attraction. The way I look at it, I can tell you the small gestures and subtle indications, but chances are, we will miss them because we were too caught up interacting and thinking about what to say to notice that. Also, I believe in keeping it simple. Therefore, I am going to tell you about two simple indicators for finding out if someone is attracted to you.

What level of attraction are we talking about here? Yes, there may be degrees, very “interested” may mean something else as compared to simply intrigued. You need to go with your gut. The information provided is for moderate interest, where the man or woman would want to get to know you better and you have definitely sparked their interest.

Here it goes:

1) Eyes: It is not a cliche when we say that our eyes are the window to our soul. The first thing you would do if someone you like is around you, is that you would want to look at them. Their presence would make you think of them and that thought makes you look. It happens very unconsciously. Seriously, sometimes people don’t realize how obvious just a simple look is.

If you begin to pick this up, you will see and recognize the difference between someone looking because they are interested and someone just looking around. If someone is looking at you repeatedly, they’re probably very interested, give them a broad confident smile and see what happens!

I call it the dance of the eyes between two people who are interested but not forward enough yet to make a concrete move. Another concept is mutual gaze. Imagine someone close to you looks at you, you look back and take their image in for a while. However, if it is a new person, you avert your eyes faster.

This is because eye contact has a large comfort element attached to it and you will notice that those that are comfortable around each other hold each other’s gaze for a longer time. Look for that and if you find this happening with someone, know that both of you are comfortable with each other’s presence

2) Body Position: Again, what I am telling you about are subconscious signals of interest, which means that those who transmit them are most often not even aware that they are doing it! When somebody is intrigued by them, their body position is going to be effected by yours’. It may not be as direct as someone facing you square, because that would be too obvious.

Here, one needs to look for the subtle. Here is my secret: look where the feet are facing, it is symbolic of where either party intends to move. If you look for this, every now and then you will see that someone is sitting in quite an unnatural position with regard to the rest of the group and they have oriented their body towards a certain person they are interested it.

As a parting note, I will remind you that the major reason people don’t realize someone is attracted to them is because they don’t think that someone would be. It’s so odd, we are a very groovy species and we flaunt and notice more than you think, just tap into your experiences. If you feel someone is into you, believe it! You intuition is a result of millions and millions of years of evolution; you are a perfected machine, that has stood the test of evolutionary time! Do not second guess yourself and most of all have fun!

Mr. Shivam Nemani

The writer is a Body Language Researcher and a Trainer, currently living in Mumbai (India).

His blog URL is http://bleveryday.blogspot.in.

Related Articles:
1) Courtship and Dance 2) Primary Attraction 3) Secondary Attraction 4) Importance of eyes in relationship 5) The Look of Love? 6) Couple in trouble? 7) This is what I (want to) see.

The ways woman provokes her man to be protective

The women who seek a long term (romantic) relationship have a large arsenal of nonverbal clues to woo their desired male partners. However, some questions are equally puzzling to both men and courtship experts such as What exactly makes a man go weak in the knees for a woman (over a longer period)? Why testosterone fueled guys do fall flat for the women they strongly like? What expressional and biological signals are given away by women?

Most of the men reading this article might have gone crazy once or many times for the women they got attracted to. Also, most of the women reading this article may not have any idea about why they change dramatically in appearance, expressions and behavior while wooing the desired men. During courtship, both men and women appear completely changed over a considerable amount of time.

Its secret is hidden deeply inside the physical and psychological features of the fairer sex. Courtship signals are a mixture of signals, clues and hints of attraction, availability, fertility (vigor) and compatibility. However, women have a large arsenal of expressional and biological signals which most of them do use while attempting to turn their desired males very gooey and softer towards them.

No matter if you're a man or a women reading this article but it might sound extremely funny yet equally childish to you to know that women try to provoke protectiveness or protective feeling in their desired/targeted men both during and even after courtship through a range of both unconscious and deliberate nonverbal, body language and behavioral clues.

Most of the men and women are naturally inclined to protect and nurture the harmless, innocent and helpless babies. This gives very pleasant feelings and deep satisfaction. It’s the only physical, psychological and motor (movement related) characteristics of the newborns and adolescents that most people even fight with any odds, risk their own lives and even sacrifice themselves to protect them.

Actually, watching, cuddling and playing with babies is a great stress relieving and delighting experience in which only good hormones are secreted. Most of us feel very happy, fulfilled, relaxed and positively charged after spending time with babies. Don't we?

Babies have a considerable amount of body fat, curvy physique, very soft skin, nearly hairless body, fair complexion (as compared to grown-ups), soft vocal tone (with low volume), fewer defensive tactics, uncoordinated body movements, a lot of energy, enormous curiosity and playful disposition. Their defenselessness silently motivates the elder people to protect them.

As famous biologist Dr. Desmond Morris has rightly mentioned, (most) women retain juvenile (or child like) features throughout their reproductive age (fecundity). This is not typically found in (most) men because secretion of testosterone multiplies in their bodies after puberty. They become more muscular and rough.

Across the board, (fertile) women have considerable amount of body fat, curvy physique, juvenile faces, soft hair, soft skin, sweet vocal tone, animated facial expressions, attractive body movements and appealing sympathetic and parasympathetic displays e.g. blushing.

Most of the women themselves may not at all ever realize it consciously but they subconsciously, tactically or wisely capitalize their juvenile (or child like) vocal, physical, psychological and intellectual features over a longer period in their life-time to attract, to court and also to retain the desirable men.

After observing a woman giving away such signals, a man unconsciously feels an urge to protect her i. e. the ‘child like’ lady. Also, the man engages himself in complementary displays to portray a hero, a hunter, a warrior, a guardian or even a virtual father who tries to protect and nurture her. These mutually beneficial expressional and behavioral adaptations by both men and women attracted towards each other underlines traditional roles of both genders.

After attracting attention of the desired man and assuring that he's watching or looking at her, she tries to act as a playful and curious infant. Smiling, talking in a soft and melodious voice, giggling, gesticulating in a playful manner, palming face, putting fingers in mouth, making silly mistakes, walking joyfully, fumbling and animating facial expressions is enough to entice protective favors from the man. Her coy smile conveys harmless intentions and the chin down face expresses her submissiveness.

Increased circulation of blood inside the facial skin or blushing of upper body (especially cheeks and neck) conveys innocence, emotional excitement and an urge of covering like an unprotected child. Have you seen babies with the maximum blood circulation in the outer layer of skin (epidermis), right after a few moments of their birth?

By applying makeup on face, she tries to appear appealing, youthful and more specifically - baby like. She draws man's attention towards her most attractive and appealing features i. e. eyes, cheeks and lips. By doing hair in such a way that face looks smaller in size, she tries to imitate a child seeking nourishment, affection and protection.

By wearing vividly colorful (tight) outfits, fidgeting with them and playing with her hair quite often; she tries to draw attention of the man towards herself and at her face and eyes. This act is similar to how the cute little babies trying to attract strong attention from the adults around them.

By repetitively capitalizing a few body language cues like smiling, shrugging shoulders, showing open palms, deflating body posture and showing inner side of the wrist; women do convey their vulnerable and friendly side to men so that it could provoke them to be protective.

Through all these acts and expressions, she tries to seek the assurance that if the man she is attracted to is really able to protect her. After giving away signals, clues or hints of availability and compatibility; these ‘juvenile’ signals are intermixed with the signals, clues or hints of fertility.

It has also been found that women with greater amount of estrogen and progesterone in their bodies tend to have and display more child like facial, physical, para-linguistic and motor (related to movements) features. To complement with the same, the men having higher levels of protective feelings and who are ready to risk themselves do tend to feel more attracted towards 'juvenile' women.

In other words, juvenile characteristics and its display is a way to examine the men for their will, preparedness, resourcefulness and capability to protect and nurture women. Such inherent physical and mental qualities in most men help both of them in succeeding in romance, reproduction, child care and also the long term relationship. A human child needs a stable, a loving and a long-term parental care.

The evolutionary purpose behind this kind of attraction could be basically straightforward and simple i. e. the men having greater protective capabilities and resources should take care of and pair with 'infantile' women. Also, women themselves are attracted to 'juvenile' looking men and women because of their deep biological impulse or desire to nurture the babies.

In today's modern, technological and economically liberal world; the women who attract attention of their desired men give away signals, clues or hints that are quite similar to what ancestral women might have given thousands and millions of year ago to gain attention of the hunting men. Moreover, these acts, signals and clues are almost universal.

Protecting the Damsel in distress

Even after forming a strongly romantic or a committed relationship, these kinds of signals are given away by her almost throughout the life because she needs affection and/or protection from her man.

Related Articles:
1) Women are body language experts 2) Courtship and Dance 3) Woman's Courtship Body Language (Part 1) 4) Woman's Courtship Body Language (Part 2) 5) Man's Courtship Body Language 6) Why women apply makeup on face?