“How ARRROGANTLY she behaved! You should have been there just to observe your daughter.”*, “Unlike her husband, she didn’t express any respect towards the elders.”, “After getting married to a rich man, she isn’t caring about her own family.” [This is the most accurate and contextual (and not literal or word-to-word) translation of the original statements made in my native language.]
Three different persons made three different (above) statements in front a father about his beloved daughter. Certainly, such statements might have broken his heart that was already beating with a great muscular effort. He was already suffering from high blood pressure (hypertension) and under medication for years. Additionally, he couldn’t sleep well at night over a whole week after his daughter betrayed his trust by marrying the guy privately and above all - without giving any prior intimation.
While disregarding current mental and physical state of the father, the three persons shared their own assessments without any hesitation. Obviously, it was clear that they were ‘expertly’ confident about their assessments of the body language and behavioral cues the girl was subconsciously giving away as they were closely observing her. So, what was the exact context or overall situation? Also, exactly how I personally became a part of it?
A year ago (2024), I was selected as a member of a small committee. It was tasked to visit the newly-wed couple and the family of the boy who married the girl. The girl and the boy belonging to two different castes got married without taking a formal consent from their respective families. That’s why the committee was sent by the girl's parents to discuss about formalizing their marriage by a public ceremony.
When we entered the boy’s house, the boy and his family formally greeted us. According to the Indian cultural tradition, he touched the feet of all senior members from the visiting committee. We took our seats in the large hall and tea was served to us. Soon, we started discussing about the whole situation and how we should proceed ahead to formalize the marriage of the newly-wed couple.
After a few minutes, two senior committee members requested the boy to call the girl as they wanted to see her in person. After a few moments, she entered the hall. However, she didn’t touch the feet of the senior members from the committee. She straightly and swiftly walked up to the chair that was placed adjacent to the boy’s chair. That move was utterly shocking for many.
The girl maintained herself in the chair without any expressions or muscular movements on her pretty face, as if it was completely frozen or paralyzed. Additionally, she had maintained in an upright body posture with her chin head high. However, she kept her widely open eyes continuously hovering over the members of the committee. Some of them were her close relatives.
The discussion concluded amicably and formalizing their marriage was decided by both sides. As we (committee) were leaving the house, most committee members were discussing about the girl's unexpected behavior. Especially, three members concluded that the girl appeared extremely arrogant, uptight or rigid throughout the face-to-face interaction that lasted for 15 minutes.
According to one senior committee member, the boy left a very good first impression by touching the feet of the senior members of the committee. According to the same member, “there was no guilt in the eyes” of the girl for betraying the trust of her family and parents. As he repeatedly had tried to convince her over the years, she had promised him of not marrying the same boy.
Another committee member once had a bitter argument the girl about her decision to marry the same boy a few months ago. As I personally noticed the same, he was the one who was staring at the girl with squinted eyes, tilted neck and dropped chin. Without any surprise, his body language stood out among all committee members. Also, he was the one who made the first statement.*
According to my own evaluation or assessment, the girl was hyper-vigilant and edgy during the whole interaction. She was under tremendous distress while closely interacting with the familiar persons with the very possibility of being shamed, blamed or questioned. I call this behavioural phenomenon as "Vigilance out of Distress" (VooD). Is there suitable phrase(s) for it than this one?
After a few days after formalization and acceptance of their marriage by both sides, I happened to meet and talk with the same girl's close friend. My assessment turned out to be right when she told that the girl going through an enormous distress as she was facing the familiar people. Unlike his own husband, she couldn’t behave and express normally in their presence.
This is one of the excellent examples that demonstrates exactly how most of us instinctively judge, access or evaluate the behavior and body language of another person. Without taking the context or overall situation into consideration, most of us firmly stick to their prejudices, firm beliefs, prior conclusions or confirmation biases. It locks them inside their own mental prisons.What about you?
Establishing the context accurately needs focus, attention (to details), patients and rationality. However, confirmation bias subconsciously helps a biased person reach on conclusions quickly while completely ignoring what doesn’t support her bias. Also, it saves both time and energy that is freshly required for the brain of the same person to even consider the variability in the context.
Like ignoring, bypassing or not establishing a context accurately, having a confirmation bias is damaging to the process of accurately reading, inferring, analysing or deciphering any kind of observed, recorded or detected cues let alone nonverbal ones. Also, it can lead to over-generalization of the cues. Confirmation bias and over-generalization are two sides of the same coin.
As majority of people’s assessment, appraisal or evaluation about others is completely paralyzed or hijacked by their confirmation biases, one might think that the machines might help us in reading, inferring, analysing or deciphering the body language more accurately than humans. However, machines with narrow intelligence don’t understand the social context (just yet!).
When Artificial Intelligence (AI) will be picking, detecting or recording the body language cues much timely, rapidly, clearly and precisely than the bare human eyes; the super-critical responsibility of establishing the context correctly will be left to the super-rational human brains. Are we ready for it?
[👉#Critical Input: It’s quite possible that a person consciously or subconsciously giving away a particular body language cue might choose to think or confirm that other people giving the same cue has the exact same meaning that she has been taught by somebody, learned or found by herself.]
Related Articles:
1) CONTEXT is the KING 2) Interpretation 3) Perceptual Bias 4) Being a Body Language Expert 5) Are you stuck with the same meaning?
Three different persons made three different (above) statements in front a father about his beloved daughter. Certainly, such statements might have broken his heart that was already beating with a great muscular effort. He was already suffering from high blood pressure (hypertension) and under medication for years. Additionally, he couldn’t sleep well at night over a whole week after his daughter betrayed his trust by marrying the guy privately and above all - without giving any prior intimation.
A year ago (2024), I was selected as a member of a small committee. It was tasked to visit the newly-wed couple and the family of the boy who married the girl. The girl and the boy belonging to two different castes got married without taking a formal consent from their respective families. That’s why the committee was sent by the girl's parents to discuss about formalizing their marriage by a public ceremony.
When we entered the boy’s house, the boy and his family formally greeted us. According to the Indian cultural tradition, he touched the feet of all senior members from the visiting committee. We took our seats in the large hall and tea was served to us. Soon, we started discussing about the whole situation and how we should proceed ahead to formalize the marriage of the newly-wed couple.
After a few minutes, two senior committee members requested the boy to call the girl as they wanted to see her in person. After a few moments, she entered the hall. However, she didn’t touch the feet of the senior members from the committee. She straightly and swiftly walked up to the chair that was placed adjacent to the boy’s chair. That move was utterly shocking for many.
The girl maintained herself in the chair without any expressions or muscular movements on her pretty face, as if it was completely frozen or paralyzed. Additionally, she had maintained in an upright body posture with her chin head high. However, she kept her widely open eyes continuously hovering over the members of the committee. Some of them were her close relatives.
The discussion concluded amicably and formalizing their marriage was decided by both sides. As we (committee) were leaving the house, most committee members were discussing about the girl's unexpected behavior. Especially, three members concluded that the girl appeared extremely arrogant, uptight or rigid throughout the face-to-face interaction that lasted for 15 minutes.
 |
| Are you still trapped in the confirmation bias? |
According to one senior committee member, the boy left a very good first impression by touching the feet of the senior members of the committee. According to the same member, “there was no guilt in the eyes” of the girl for betraying the trust of her family and parents. As he repeatedly had tried to convince her over the years, she had promised him of not marrying the same boy.
Another committee member once had a bitter argument the girl about her decision to marry the same boy a few months ago. As I personally noticed the same, he was the one who was staring at the girl with squinted eyes, tilted neck and dropped chin. Without any surprise, his body language stood out among all committee members. Also, he was the one who made the first statement.*
According to my own evaluation or assessment, the girl was hyper-vigilant and edgy during the whole interaction. She was under tremendous distress while closely interacting with the familiar persons with the very possibility of being shamed, blamed or questioned. I call this behavioural phenomenon as "Vigilance out of Distress" (VooD). Is there suitable phrase(s) for it than this one?
After a few days after formalization and acceptance of their marriage by both sides, I happened to meet and talk with the same girl's close friend. My assessment turned out to be right when she told that the girl going through an enormous distress as she was facing the familiar people. Unlike his own husband, she couldn’t behave and express normally in their presence.
This is one of the excellent examples that demonstrates exactly how most of us instinctively judge, access or evaluate the behavior and body language of another person. Without taking the context or overall situation into consideration, most of us firmly stick to their prejudices, firm beliefs, prior conclusions or confirmation biases. It locks them inside their own mental prisons.What about you?
Establishing the context accurately needs focus, attention (to details), patients and rationality. However, confirmation bias subconsciously helps a biased person reach on conclusions quickly while completely ignoring what doesn’t support her bias. Also, it saves both time and energy that is freshly required for the brain of the same person to even consider the variability in the context.
Like ignoring, bypassing or not establishing a context accurately, having a confirmation bias is damaging to the process of accurately reading, inferring, analysing or deciphering any kind of observed, recorded or detected cues let alone nonverbal ones. Also, it can lead to over-generalization of the cues. Confirmation bias and over-generalization are two sides of the same coin.
As majority of people’s assessment, appraisal or evaluation about others is completely paralyzed or hijacked by their confirmation biases, one might think that the machines might help us in reading, inferring, analysing or deciphering the body language more accurately than humans. However, machines with narrow intelligence don’t understand the social context (just yet!).
When Artificial Intelligence (AI) will be picking, detecting or recording the body language cues much timely, rapidly, clearly and precisely than the bare human eyes; the super-critical responsibility of establishing the context correctly will be left to the super-rational human brains. Are we ready for it?
[👉#Critical Input: It’s quite possible that a person consciously or subconsciously giving away a particular body language cue might choose to think or confirm that other people giving the same cue has the exact same meaning that she has been taught by somebody, learned or found by herself.]
Related Articles:
1) CONTEXT is the KING 2) Interpretation 3) Perceptual Bias 4) Being a Body Language Expert 5) Are you stuck with the same meaning?
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