“Is the world being controlled by psychopaths, ego-maniacs or even non-human entities?” You won’t miss to ask the same (or similar) question openly or in your own mind while looking at the current state of affairs of almost the entire world - by taking out some time from your daily busy routine and closely analyzing the level of self-centeredness, irresponsibility, radicalization, carelessness, recklessness, manipulation, exploitation or deception in the most critical or consequential areas, fields or domains like global climate, (geo-)politics, technology, religion, ideology, economy and society. Undoubtedly, so many people around you would share your stress, anxiety, pessimism, doomsaying, helplessness or the erosion of trust.If you firmly assume that the psychopaths completely lack the human emotions then you are completely wrong. Psychopaths have human emotions but their emotional arrow points back at themselves and not at others. Hence, it’s not the so-called ‘lack of human emotions’ that makes a normal looking person immoral, careless, reckless, unethical, irresponsible, manipulative, deceptive, abusive and exploitative towards others. Actually, it’s a very low or a complete lack of empathy towards the fellow human beings and even closed ones. By the way, is this the first ever time you’re reading the word ‘Empathy’?
As of now, you surely might have read, heard or even used another word several times. The word is ‘Sympathy’. Along with the same word, ‘Sympathizing’ and ‘Sympathizer’ are the words that you might read, heard or even used another word over many times as of now. You might have expressed your sympathy towards or became sympathizer of other people. However, most people simply confuse between sympathy and empathy. Although both words end with the exact same sound ‘m-pa-thee’, the meanings of both are totally different from each other.
Sympathy is a conscious attempt of understanding what exactly other person may be going through, feeling or experiencing. However, empathy is a genuine subconscious experience of the same feeling inside oneself. Unlike sympathy, empathy is like putting your own foot inside the other person’s shoes and trying to experience how really it feels like. Body language (facial expressions and posture) and vocal tone of a one person instantly changes in the presence of another person in distress, danger or pain. Doesn’t it ever happen to you at all?
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| Empathy is the critical pro-social quality. (Image Courtesy: American Psychological Association) |
On one hand, empathy is a genuine subconscious experience. We tend to experience happiness when others around us are happy and experience sadness when others are sad, down, crying, distressed or depressed. Similarly, we experience horrified when others are in danger and experience anger when others are getting abused, exploited or punished. The experience of empathy is entirely subconsciously. Also, it leads to instant physiological and hormonal changes. Hence, it’s physiological, behavioral and nonverbal.
On the other hand, sympathy is more of a conscious process of trying to visualize, imagine or understand what another person may be going through at present or might have gone through in the past. It’s expressed verbally especially in the form of agreement, recognition or support while not experiencing the exact same internal distress or uneasiness that is felt subconsciously. That’s why sympathy can be faked or copied but empathy can’t be!
Ability to control the impulses makes us civil but behaving empathetically makes us social. If and when a person internally experiences what the other person is most likely feeling, is going through or might have gone through then the two persons virtually become one and the same. Moreover, the first person might nonverbally and behaviorally soothe, help, rescue or fight for the second person who is in distress or danger.
Please let me explain you with a real life example. An elderly frail man and his young son fail right in the middle of a road when their scooter's wheels slipped off on a greasy patch. An elderly man got slammed so hard on the surface of the road that he couldn't stand on his feet whereas his son got minor bruises. A young woman living in a nearby house immediately rushed to the spot with a bottle full of water in her hand.
Another commuting man who happaned to watch the whole scene and suddenly stopped his motorcycle at the edge of the same road. He helped the son to lift his elderly father and take him to an empty place. Moreover, the commuting man ran his hands over the legs of the elderly to check the injuries if any. Behavior of the young woman and the commuting man wasn't sympathetic but empathetic.
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| The lone man crossing the railway tracks |
Not Sympathy but Empathy is the necessary foundation for humanity, morality and ethics or in other words - compassionate, responsible, restrained, sensitive, ethical, caring and moral behavior. Today's global outcry about the degradation of humane, moral and ethical behavior towards each other strongly reflects the steady erosion of empathy. One of core qualities that helped us survive over millions of years is being compromised.
There’re certain primary and secondary survival benefits of an internally felt distress or uneasiness while watching each other in suffering or facing potential danger. A few critical insights flashed in my mind while walking through some of my unforgettable experiences, including one of watching the lone man crossing the railway tracks while an express train was rapidly moving towards him on the same.
The same insights have already been shared by email with world’s some of the top behavioral researchers who’re working on empathy and a leading academic institution – Greater Good Science Center (GGSC) of University of California at Berkeley (UCB). The institute has formally acknowledged them. The same insights can be found in my upcoming book - Body Language Insights.
Related Articles:
1) Surprise vs. Startle Reflex 2) Your Confirmation Bias vs. Context 3) Body Language of Extreme Psychopath
