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February 19, 2012

Secondary Attraction

Finding a mate or a life partner is most crucial part of life. It has to do with not only with reproductive success and genetic progression but also emotional support, social status, overall stability, wellness. immunity and longevity. It consumes lot of energy and time and also preoccupies human mind.

Despite of the enormous diversity in individual qualities, we try settle with an individual satisfying basic exceptions because a perfect mate is entirely mythical. Also, creating a strong functional rapport and sense of trust with partner and retaining it is a great challenge in itself.

In a committed (marital) relationship, members of both genders have to submit and surrender themselves to each other at some extent. Both have to invest time, stay together, occupy a common physical space and share resources and engage with each other physically, sexually, emotionally, intellectually and psychologically.
Now, assume that you are a single at present and desperately looking for a (new) partner. You come across many members of opposite gender, get attracted to them by instinct but you don't find something special in most of them to take relation to next steps. Why we don't feel "really going mad" about everybody we get initially attracted to?

Scientists agree that what truly keeps two members of opposite genders together is very complex to describe apart of natural, sexual and plain physical attraction. They call it as the secondary attraction.
"You really have something special that makes me to stay longer in relationship."
Indeed, it's not just look or appearance required to stay in (long term) romantic or committed relationship. There's something beyond physical qualities we look into our potential partner(s). How the other person looks necessary should not match with its true nature.

During initial interactions, we unconsciously monitor behavior and reactions of other person in different situations and circumstances. In fact, we give each other various opportunities for the same. More we interact, better we understand each other (apart of attraction). It's like initiating a dance step and waiting for a person on an opposite side to make move accordingly.

We always convey personal traits, attitude, approach, qualities, strengths, and weaknesses and ultimately mutual compatibility through body language (nonverbally) only that's why attraction based upon character lasts longer and healthier.

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