Search for

May 20, 2011

Making true friends

Friendship is the fathom of familiarity. It’s an invaluable and marvelous treasure that everybody wants to discover throughout lifetime. It enlightens life for once and all. Friendship is a perfect mirror in which one can get glimpse of true nature and meet very potentials through sympathy, mutual confidence, encouragement, co-operation, constructive criticism, idea generation, due appreciation, support and solidarity.

Initiating friendship or acquaintanceship at once is different than retaining and flourishing it further. Many aspects of positive body language can help you to invite persons into friendship but ultimately it’s quite sustainable process of reciprocation and resemblance.

Following are most crucial clues which would help in both finding and making friends you truly deserve:

1) Approach: Approaching to or facing somebody in non-threatening, casual and open-minded manner is the foundation of any relationship. Walk towards or face the others cheerfully and confidently. Do smile, wave hands and strike conversation with any suitable opening line like “Hi”, "Hi There", “Hey”, “How are you doing?”, “What’s up?”, “Nice to see you.”, “How the things are going on?”, “Hope you doing well.” etc.

Shaking hand is very good at initial stage but when familiarity gradually forms then do avoid it. Instead of hand shake, do start touching the person (if socially or gender appropriate) briefly at forearms and shoulders.

Don’t cross your arms on chest, entwine them behind your back or put them in pockets, purse or hand bag. Don't shrug shoulders or turn torso away from person. Turning your back suddenly at person is utterly disgraceful.

Even how you look at somebody does convey a lot more than actual words pretend. Try to maintain 70-75 % of steady eye contact during face to face interaction. Also, avoid standing or sitting on exactly an opposite side of man and side way of woman as much as possible. Comfort level with steady eye contact may vary in different cultures and societies.

When time comes to apart, end conversation with any suitable opening line like “Bye”, “See you.”, "Good Day", "Take Care", “Meet you later.”, “Talk to you later.”, “Best of luck.”, “Nice to see you.” etc. Wave hands, smile and walk away.

2) Active Listening: Just hearing to anybody is absolutely different from listening to it actually. Listening is mentally engaged state that reflects your true interest and attachment towards the other. When somebody’s distressed, despaired or disheartened then he/she really wants other to carefully listen or even synchronize emotionally.

Active listening and querying about what other person feels at given moment can strengthen any relationship more rather than giving quick solutions and let emotional intricacies remained unheard. Nod you head in agreement repeatedly while you listen. Conscious mirroring is very good.

3) Expressiveness: Everybody has an equal right of expression and it should be exercised. In friendship, one should encourage other to talk freely about feelings and experiences. It creates very conducive environment. Don’t impose yourself onto others every time. It would compel others to withdraw, frown or irritate.

Don’t lean over others or look with contempt. Just sit or stand straight and let others to take their turn. Be curious towards the other while they share.

4) Reconciliation: Reconciliation is crucial to heal any annoyance, hurt or distress caused by action or behavior from either side. If somebody gets hurt then lean forward, bow your head, put your palm on your heart and simply say “Sorry”, “I feel very sorry” or “Sorry, I hurt you.” from bottom of heart and with very soft voice.

Gently touch the other person by grabing its hands, touching shoulders or face or giving a hug (if socially or gender appropriate). Look at face and try to catch its gaze. Look directly into its eyes and and ask that If he/she could excuse you for whatever you did or gone wrong from you.

5) Support: It's the core of any relationship. Everybody of us unconsciously seeks support the way how we grow up by constant attention and care taken by parents during early childhood. If situation allows, put your hands behind shoulder of other person while standing, seating or walking (if socially or gender appropriate). By this, you make other person feel secured by you.

Take every opportunity to congratulate other person. Do genuinely appreciate achievements, performance or appearance. Frequently ask others about their well-being and if you could help them anyway.

6) Reciprocation: Sharing and exchange gives unprecedented joy and feeling of satisfaction. This is very common experience and our society and culture encourages it. Reciprocation makes relationship valuable are worth sustaining.

When somebody spends time, intellect and energy to exchange resources, ideas, opinions, information, complements, thoughts and feelings with you then you should duly recognize them and appreciate efforts or intentions of other person. Try to share in return of same from your side as much as possible and whatever appropriate is.

Despite of freedom everybody has to befriend and enjoy great things in life, some limitations and constraints should not be violated. Respect other as an individual first. Take their personal responsibilities and social roles into account. Avoid expecting (an immediate) response from others every time you initiate an exchange.

Also, let others know about your inability to meet, talk or exchange if situations and circumstances don’t allow. Don’t make others to feel bother with childish comments and queries.

Avoid excessive touching and crossing intimate boundaries of others (especially a member of an opposite gender). Avoid intimate gaze, flirting, suggestive gestures or submissive facial expressions with member of an opposite gender.

Attraction for a member of an opposite gender is quite natural, obvious and inevitable but trying to transform the friendship into a romantic relationship may not assure its survival a over long time. Friendship and romantic relationship are two entirely different areas in the first place.

One person may not behave in romantic relationship the way he/she supports and appreciates you as a friendship. Indeed, man and woman can become very best friends forever if they develop good mutual understanding and mind their existing relationship, social responsibilities, goals and aspirations.

Related Articles:
1) Positive Body Language 2) Why we wave hands at others? 3) What is hand shake? 4) Why we copy each other's body language? 5) Why we hug? 6) Why we smile? 7) Importance of eyes in relationship 8) Importance of Touch 9) Proxemics

1 comment:

Please post your valuable comment here.