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April 30, 2017

Are you Jealous (of me)?

Jealousy…the little green-eyed monster! He’s omnipresent yet operates invisibly, both in human world full of different emotions & feelings and that of seemingly expressionless creatures. Hardly anybody would have escaped from its clutches or trickery. To be honest, not even me!

So why we get tricked by the green monster after all? What is the root cause? Most importantly thing is that How to identify if somebody is unconsciously expressing jealously towards you by reading the person's body language and behavior?

First of all, Jealousy is not an emotion but a feeling. Unlike unconscious emotional responses or reactions, any feeling gives us an ample amount of time to think about how to react or response. Similar to contempt, Jealousy is a physically non-engaging yet self-defensive reaction or response of human mind.

It means that we don’t express ourselves overtly or physically engage with others immediately in our defense. That’s the reason why many people can’t identify if somebody is feeling jealous about them in real-time. What is Jealousy, in the first place? Let's try to understand it.

Jealousy is nothing but the feeling of insecurity which generates preliminarily out of interpersonal comparison and the resultant perception of lacking on an individual. It induces in our mind after hearing, watching or knowing that other person has something that we don’t have, can’t have or won’t have, let it be a natural or artificial entity.

Let it be an individual’s materialistic possession, inheritance, physical beauty, specialties, capabilities, social rapport, relations (with attractive persons) or attention being given to by others. Some of us just can’t grasp reality and remain contained with what they are and have. Insecurity starts eating them from inside. However, it doesn’t end with comparison and perceiving our own short-comings or short-failings.

We also turn our eyes green towards an individual as a warning message when we feel that the person would probably try to steal, own or control what we have currently. The green-eyed monster doesn’t take hold of grown-up people only but so-called ‘innocent’ children as well.

Elder children express jealousy towards their younger siblings because more attention is given towards them by parents. Some smart children compete for attention and the rest maintain jealous intentions towards their younger siblings.

Jealously runs high in children too,
even more than grown-ups.

Generally, we blame women for getting more jealous, possessive and nagging but it’s not the entire truth. Insecurity out of possessiveness and sense of ownership leads to jealously so men too become jealous especially when they think that the other man is threat to his current relationship status with his lady.

If a man learns that another attractive man is getting attention of his lady then he might feel jealous about her for making him to feel insecure or also about the man for being more attention-worthy then him. Both men and women feeling jealous about their partners or the other person approaching them is red signal for both parties. It shouldn’t be ignored at all.

So how to identify if a person feeling jealous about you or others in real-time? Keenly observe the way the person is looking at you at the given moment. The jealous person would give short lasting fake 'plastic' smile when you smile at the person. The person would give away subtle signs of anger, fear and sadness through its face, body and voice. Mostly of the time, it would be anger and/or sadness.

Along with same, if the person is looking at you without battling eyelids, narrowed eyes and closely lips; you can assume that feeling of insecurity is taking hold of the person’s mind. Most of the time, a jealous person would cross its both arms on its chest while looking at you or being around you while you’re doing something or interacting with others.

When it comes to interacting verbally, the person wouldn’t respond to you comfortably, fluently, continuously or spontaneously. If you think that the person would try to avoid or stay way from you then it's not at all true. In fact, if time permits, the person would find opportunities to be around you so that more and more clues could be collected from you on a regular basis.

Even from long distance, the person would try to listen you and keep eyes on you. On the contrary, person or a partner who doesn't feel insecure about you wouldn't track your movements, interactions and activities continuously.

Jealously: There's no smoke without fire.

A jealous or insecure person might not pose immediate harm to you but matter can get worst in near future if the person couldn’t get out of strong clutches of the green monster. Jealousy might protect us like a shield but it would be unwise to keep it getting thicker and heavier by passing time. Such shield would no longer prove useful to cover one’s insecurities. Would it? What you personally think?

We have to accept reality and overcome insecurity. Everybody isn’t truly complete or perfect and most importantly - lacks in something. Everybody lacks something and we all need each other. It's the only way of overcoming jealousy and/or letting others don’t feel uncontrollably jealous about.

Many beautiful, healthy, wealthy, strong and successful people are living an apparently low profile and simple life. They help others too. They remain quite alert and polite while talking, flaunting, exhibiting or exaggerating about what they currently have or going to have in near future.

This induces less or no jealous feelings in others. Actually, they help others to overcome feelings of lacking and shortcoming. I personally know such wonderful persons. Do you personally know anyone?

Related Articles:
1) Language of Eyes 2) Social Class

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