Body Language Brain

Principally, we have evolved to communicate nonverbally (through body language). Surprisingly, very amazing and unimaginably ancient system inside brain only understands and gives away physical expressions. It’s called as the Limbic System. It works very precisely and we could survive because of same.

Here’s an interesting story about how the limbic system evolved. In fact, it’s a short story of our evolution.

Aquatic ancestor

Hard to believe for many of us is that most of the extinguished and existing creatures evolved from common ancestors. They existed in water past 360 million years. Climatic changes and/or struggle to survive forced them migrating to land. Their fins transformed into limbs/legs to roam and outer skin became tougher to endure dry and harsh climate on land. They developed lungs to breathe. Amphibians, reptiles, birds, and mammals are descendants of same land roaming ancestors.

Iguana

Reptiles evolved 320 to 310 million years ago. This was the true beginning of limbic system development. They evolved a reflexive system to fight, flight, feed, and breed. Reptilian behavioral patterns are very apparent and predictable but those helped them to survive in the environment they roamed. There were no emotions in world of creatures till mammals appeared on earth. Mammals evolved during collapse of dinosaur dynasty. Surprisingly, they evolved from reptiles 220 million years ago.

Mammals emerged with more deliberate, social, and motivated behavior unlike seemingly cold, impassive, and brutal reptiles. The reason behind it would be linked to their altered metabolism, reproduction, nurturing, bonding and habitation. Mammals grow offspring inside their bodies till certain stage of development, feed them by secretion from mammary glands and control body temperature to adjust diverse climatic conditions.

Plesiadapis

New mammalian brain structure Cortex was built upon reptilian complex. Even though mammals become more superior in survival strategies, they naturally incline to reptilian flight or fight approach. They developed variations to compensate fight or flight approach by more dramatic, planned and coordinated movements, behavior and physical expressions. Emotions were incredible gift along with strong sense of different smells and ability to remember them (Olfactory system). It helped them to endure different situations and circumstances. They flourished and spread on entire planet.

Chimpanzee

Finally appeared the common ancestors (Hominoidea) of humans and apes (orangutans, gorillas, chimpanzees, and bonobos) - the primate ancestors who evolved 65 million years ago. They might have evolved from mammals who skilled in climbing on trees for food and shelter. Primates evolved more complex parts inside brains for adopting new living environments, anatomical features, and social challenges. They developed superior system to coordinate movements and maneuvers on trees and ground. They gained ability to think and plan. Their vision become more advanced so stronger became visual memory. They could remember and recall scenes voluntarily.

Why apes did not further evolve as human though we share more than 98% genetic profile with them? This question definitely comes into our curious mind. As like today, groups of common ancestors (who further evolved as modern apes) were living in thick forest areas that was far away from homeland of some members. Chain of climatic disruptions during 3 to 5 millions of years ago separated those few from forest inhabiting groups forever. Hugh drop in rainfall on north-eastern part of African continent (Afar valley, Ethiopia) replaced forests full of tall - large - lush trees by vast planes of grass and bushes. Apparently, nature forced our ancestors to roam on ground. They started walking on their two legs (hind limbs) with two hands free (fore limbs) to gather food, make tools, hunt animals, catch fishes, and farm crops. They started living in fixed shelters.

Ability to walk on two feet (bipedal anatomy) changed our apparent behavior, movement patterns and ultimately the way of communication. Making different facial expressions, gestures and sounds became beneficial to express emotions and feelings among members in group. Throughout different civilizations, we kept improving and diversifying our life style, occupation and communication. We formed ethics and cultural - social norms.

We (modern humans) are called as Homo Sapiens that literally means as "wise man" or "knowing man" in Latin. Neocortex is the most advanced structure that rests above reptile and mammalian brain. It gives us ability of reasoning, imagination, speaking languages, introspection, navigation, mathematical calculations and problem solving. We can harbor feelings, regulate emotions, and restrain limbic impulses but cannot entirely surpass them.

Human rage

Moreover, visual and emotional memory makes us to act or behave the way our ancestors would have done in remote history. We become comfortable in favorable environments and situations and uncomfortable in distress and (signs of) danger. Under threat, we experience more or less same kind of physiological responses like reptiles or mammals give (flight or fight/run away). On the other hand, we display rage or aggression exactly like other animals do (fight). Only we can bring variation in basic defense patterns that are instinctively excercised but other creatures.

Creatures expressing rage or aggression

If we pay keen and conscious attention, all inherited and learned patterns of physical expressions are easy to decode because of functional precision of the limbic system, parasympethitic nervous system, and endocrine system.

(**Special Thanks to Sir Joe Navarro (Ex-FBI Counterintelligence agent and Pioneer in nonverbal communication) for reviewing this article and sharing his own views.)

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Social Footsteps

We may not remember the first step taken as child. Before started to walk; we certainly would have stumbled, fallen, and tried to stand up again and again. Continuous encouragement, appreciation, sympathy, and guidance motivated us to take early steps. Somebody was there who we looked at, followed, and seek support from until becoming able to walk on own. We started to walk because somebody thought that we ought to do it!

We come across many people after birth but most decisive influence we have on our mind is of parents, caretakers or elders who bring us up. They shape our basic instincts, habits, gut, behavior, and attitude. They train to restrain fear, to comfort distress, to identify crucial signals and triggers, to make way towards what is favorable and safe, to communicate - socialize, and to form bonds that can serve best interest.

Bond between mother and child is the most fundamental and life transforming. Mother not only just feeds and protects child but also formulates what child is going to do or be in future. Surprisingly, it is the child who continuously follows her to relate, communicate, and socialize with others. Role of father in same is also indisputable. Children learn to express and respond at things and people the way parents do by most.

Have you ever observed a child being handover to a stranger by parents? If not then do closely watch at desperate look of child and alert stance. It looks at faces of parents to know their expressions and feelings about stranger. Unless they give assurance of no harm from stranger to child, it never moves forward or stay calm. Simply, a child seeks opinion from parents and caretakers until it becomes independent in justifying others.

Even after growing up, we always seek clues from familiar person before moving forward to strangers, new places, and things. Let’s take a very good example of it. In office or social gathering, we approach to or stay close with the person we know best or feel favorable. Same person gives information and opinion about the others and introduce you with them. Otherwise, imagine a level of anxiety one feels while walking alone with crowd of strangers. For developing hunch, proper guidance is required.

Importance of emotionally adept, encouraging, and pro-social parenting would always remain because it assures social survivability, more fulfilling relations, and enormous opportunities outside home. More socially mature and relation oriented parents, more their children would likely become same in future.

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The guy who saved his career

This is a story shared by my best friend Sam (original name changed) who is currently an enthusiastic body language learner. It’s a story about detecting a lie that was alluring and impressive but eventually would have ruined flourishing career of his friend. Unfortunately, Sam learned a good lesson only after risking his own future.

One year back, Sam joined a company that was dealing with ERP implementation. Good salary, allowances and ample facilities brought sense of stability in him. He could then think to marry and settle after a long running struggle to get promising job.

One day company published an advertisement of vacancies in newspapers. Sam’s close friend John (original name changed) was struggling to find suitable job. Since having a good experience of working with same technologies company was looking candidate for, he requested Sam to forward his resume to company’s HR Department.

Next day, John received an e-mail for fixing an appointment for interview. Surprisingly, he was given a choice of meeting at convenient time and place. He though that it was company’s best policy to take candidate’s comfort into account. After listening to Sam appreciating his new job profile, John was on cloud nine.

At the day of interview, two interviewers from same company came to pick up John. Luxurious car, sophisticated manners and friendly introduction was enough to take hold of innocent mind. After traveling couple of miles, they finally arrived at a famous cafe. Interviewers politely asked John to order whatever he wanted to but it ended up with a coffee. Interviewers also ordered coffee. John was totally impressed by this. After emptying cups, interview started.

Next day, Sam called John and asked how interview ended and what John’s impression about the company was. John told him that he was going to re-think on that. Sam claimed that John was not going to have any better opportunity. At end of call, John hinted about incredibility of company’s survival plans that Sam laughed off.

No communication took place between them for about six months other than how about emails and Facebook chats. Sam was deployed in Middle East to train new clients. John was busy in job searching.

One day, Sam called John in a sad voice. Sam told him that he was asked to return to city immediately and was forced to resign with no clarifications. After week, shocking news published in a local newspaper. Company ran into bankruptcy after major clients terminating contracts on basis of dissatisfaction, lack of clarity between client relationships and training departments and failing to curb soaring implementation costs.

Sam was completely startled. He was wondering how he risked his career just by overrated impressions built up in mind. He asked John how he came to know that company was going to take wrong turns and meet an ill fate. John recalled the events took place during interview with every detail that other person would have overlooked.

After answering all questions, John was given an opportunity to ask questions about company. Interviewers seemed quite satisfied and in favor of him. They were in hurry to seal the deal immediately. Offer letter was pulled out file and kept in sight of John. He asked them about company’s plan to survive global economical recession. This was the only opportunity to assure future course of career.

The moment he asked the question, seemingly satisfied faces of interviewers turned anxious. Their body language shifted suddenly. Rather than answering him with comfort and confidence, both of them kept clearing their throats while speaking and looking at faces of each other nervously. They could not make proper eye contact with John and kept their gaze hovering. Finally, they somehow convinced him of exposure to new technologies that appeals to every candidate. Initial charm in their voices was disappeared and offer letter was put back in file.

Sam was mesmerized after hearing that how John could know reality by reading body language of interviewers. Clearly, they were lying to him but not by words. Sam realized how crucial was to read people conveying the truth nonverbally.

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Importance of Touch

Communication in relationship is incomplete without touch just like an eye contact or smile. In fact,  touch can establish, repair or even ruin a relationship. Touch has very crucial importance to express feelings for other person - from formal to intimate. Touch can break boundaries and tie two persons into close relationship. The secret behind same is more than skin-deep.

Skin covers largest part of our body and protects vital organs supported by muscles and bones. Skin is the major part of body that is exposed to outer world. It’s the largest sensory organ. It senses temperature, humidity, pressure, and vibrations. It regulates the temperature of body with help of hypothalamus. Most important above all, skin can sense of pain and pleasure.

Apes have their skin almost covered by hairs except face, palms and soles of feet. Apes groom each other by running fingers through hairs in leisure time to strengthen social bond. We and apes evolved from common ancestors we don't have that much hair covering our skin. Course of evolution lead us to shed hair from most part of skin. Expose skin invited more challenges and opportunities equally.

Being more sensitive to climate, we got to cover our skin by cloths. We started living in shelters accompanied with tribal members for survival. Coming into close contact of each other by exposed skin was quite natural. Our ancestors adopted and evolved touch as medium of communication more efficiently than any other creatures. Touch can be of different type - caring, friendly, supportive, encouraging, suggestive, provocative, grabbing, offensive or dominant.

We cannot imagine the kind of soothing and sense of security child experiences while being cuddled or massaged by mother. Gentle touch or caress secretes happiness hormone Oxytocin inside the brain. It helps strengthening emotional bond between mother and child so among others. Oxytocin prohibits Autism. Research proves that lack of massage can lead to emotional and cognitive disorders in children. When we experience caring and firm touch, we feel quite relaxed and cherished. Self-touching brings same relaxation at some extent.

Hostile touching leads to anxiety, threat, and sense of vulnerability. Accidental touch  among strangers can lead to retaliation or even fighting. Absence of touch between two persons in close relationship is precursor to lack of interest, trust or sympathy.

Persons not interested to go beyond formality, avoid touching each other. Even if they touch, it appears to be brief or happened by mistake. Touching to each other in public might be regulated by social, gender, cultural, regional or religional norms.

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