Scientific Portal on Body Language, Kinesics, and Nonverbal Communication#

Conscious shift in body language

Modern generations are becoming more and more dependent upon verbal and written modes of communication. Most of us can’t cross words and catch what is really being exchanged under their cover. Moreover, we are lacking attention we should pay while interacting with others and bring clarity in it. Electronic gadgetry is becoming more famous day by day but some of you might have heard about recent invention of mind reading device. But it’s not surprising that each of us has such built-in mind reading device; it's our subconscious mind.

Our subconscious mind continuously investigates world around us. It’s evolutionarily developed system to protect ourselves from all possible nuisances and threats to our existence. Not only threats are predominantly examined but opportunities that increase the chances of our survival are also exploited. Communication is the only way to achieve it.

Effective communication is not only letting other know about our thoughts, ideas, perceptions, threats and feelings but understanding them more accurately. Well we communicate, worthy it becomes for survival. Human brain’s large size compared to primates is what separated us from them on the path of evolution. Human evolution was not only driven by course of nature but by the steps our ancestors took towards development.

Most of us think that knowing about body language is like getting an access into others' subconscious mind but that’s not the sole purpose of it at all. More you know about yourself, better you could communicate with others and avoid the circumstances or situations you don’t want. For same, we need to monitor our thoughts consciously and let them express more effectively so they manifest the way we want. 

We need to take initiatives ourselves to improvise the patterns of communication, let them be nonverbal or verbal both. Physical exercise empowers, improves immunity, adds energy, and brings liveliness and self-worth. Same way, shifting body language also affects the way others perceive you and respond. Standing and parading confidently shifts hormonal secretion as well and brings sense of self-control or using gestures reasonably makes conversations interesting or friendly gaze and smile makes other feel better about you for example.

Let’s take an example of one of the etiquettes we all follow in social life. We greet others on our own to let them feel comfortable and friendliness with us and we get alike response in return. Watch this interesting TED video about dramatic hormonal shift after conscious shift in body language.


Our actions and reactions have brought what we are currently and would possibly be in future. Each of us has potential to revolutionize our living and we got to believe it.

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Like attracts Like

In daily life, most of us would prefer to situations or conditions which are favorable and parallel with our interests. Very few of us willfully struggle with adverse and anomalous things on constantly basis. It’s natural tendency to gravitate in safer environments and circumstances as soon as possible because we have to spend less energy and labors. We unconsciously try to multiply survival opportunities by doing same. Small variations are unconsciously perceived as nuisance or an immediate threat to our existence. Same rule applies to persons we try to attract or get attracted to at unconscious level.

Generally, we tend to avoid differences and so persons who are difficult to handle or easily co-relate with. We feel comfortable to connect and interact with others having similar kind of behavior, habit, communication patterns, beliefs, ideas, ideologies, and interests irrespective of geography, language, gender, race, and ethnicity they belong to. Even though we may get attracted to or influenced by persons of dissimilar nature, it's a short lasting tenure most of time.

Take an example of healthy partnership or deep friendship. These relationships survive and flourish when peers have quite similar personality traits, feelings, and dispositions (though having different skill sets, levels of energy, and competencies) or they consciously manage to match or complement with each other. Happy marriages or romantic relations walk on same way.

This is quite evident in outside world that persons with similar nature or psychological character get attracted towards each other and stay together over a long time - let them be enthusiastic, depressed, unhappy, socially outgoing, jealous, confident, adventurous, charismatic, submissive or even pathetic. Similarities offer two person greater advantage in most situations and over a long time. We wants to stay with people with alike nature because we've to spend less time and energy to match or compromise with unconscious survival plans that are different than our own.

When it comes to self-esteem or body image, law of attraction works even stronger than usual. A person perceiving itself as less attractive or appealing (despite of what others think about him/her) remain more comfortable over a long time with others with negative body image and vice a verse. Promisingly, change in mindset or communication pattern can change kind of union you could stay in. So it’s the choice to attract or get attracted towards the kind of people who resonate with your true nature and emotional character.
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Importance of eyes in relationship

It’s undoubtedly true that eyes are windows of soul. Poets have lot more to mull over them than us. Eyes not only collect visual information from outside world but also express emotions and feelings. An eye is crucial sensory organ for any creature that got evolved with it. Biological making of eye is more complex when compared to some parts of brain. In fetal stage, eyes start taking shape before any others facial features do.

Eye contact is an inevitable part in face-to-face communication. Basically, looking at the other person can be anything like attracting or getting attracted, sympathizing, respecting, surrendering or dominating, interfering, interrogating, invoking, threatening, attacking and stopping or permitting to enter into private space depending upon facial expressions, neck position, gestures, and postures.

Elongated eye contact received from others sparks neural pathway that triggers primitive defense mechanism and it prepares our body for an emergency. We have to decide either to approach or back off from person who is looking at us. Generally, we restrain long lasting gaze at strangers to avoid aggression or reprisal since they are not fully aware with our nature, intentions or motives until getting enough acquainted. In close relationships, reasonable eye contact is the key for retaining mutual interest, sympathy, confidence, and trust. At initials stages of courtship, only eye contact regulates the direction and progress of relationship formation.

We commonly experience that a steady gaze with non-threatening facing expressions like smile, titled neck, and slightly raise eyebrows with wide open eyes are irresistible interest invoking gestureBatting of eyelid by other person standing or walking at distance from you clearly signifies that person has noticed you presence through peripheral (secondary) vision. Batting an eyelid is an unconscious expression of submission, respect or interest in stranger or person we know. This is a genetically hardwired social ritual for letting others feel secure and comfortable while confronting face-to-face or sighting alongside. However, an accidental and short lasting gaze or glance should not be considered as signal of attraction or hostility.

Pupils get automatically dilated when subconscious mind (limbic brain) finds someone or something worth interesting or attractive. On the contrary, pupils get contracted when aggression, anger, and hostility takes control of mind. Physiologically, pupil dilation is also subjected to amount of light it receives. Pupils dilate in darkness whereas they contract in bright light. Restaurant or coffee shop owners allot low illuminated areas that creates a romantic environment for couples. Actually, candle light dinner is an illusionary effort to induce attraction or affection since pupils automatically dilate receiving low light. Our brains are hardwired to make us get attracted to a person (of an opposite sex) with dilated pupils.

Gaze held at the line of sight and comfortably meeting with others' eyes symbolizes social - open approach whereas gaze hovering on face or body parts below it symbolizes personal approach or reserved - intimate feelings. Unsteady gaze might be subjected to uncertainty or inability to regulate emotions.

Women are more comfortable with considerably steady eye contact since they are more sympathetic, social - diplomatic and seek security and assurance from others. Many men feel uncomfortable or nervous to meet eyes with women that might generate feelings of insecurity, distrust, and uncertainty in women. Men like males of most other animal species are guardians of their own geographical territories and use to remain in social hierarchy hence mostly avoid direct eye contact until it’s friendly or it becomes necessary.

During conversation, avoiding an eye contact (with the person who speaks or others) shows aversion, disagreement, withdrawal, lack of attention or even disrespect. Moderately dropped gaze can be attributed to submissiveness, doubtfulness, frustration, disagreement and lack of confidence or self-esteem.

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